IBSP & More Spiritual Warfare

Went to Island Beach State Park yesterday with some friends.

Though the weather seemed unpredictable, it turned out to be a really nice day again. Not too sunny and not too cold- all thanks to prayer again!

I loved that the water felt slightly cool and the waves were perfect to body surf on.

After a nice stint on the beach, we cleaned up, packed up and drove the car further south to explore another part of the state park.

Unbeknownst to us, this particular section was infested with hordes of man-eating mosquitoes. It was a nightmare straight out of a scene from Jumanji.

Our short trek landed us on the beach where we dipped our toes for a while.

The place was empty except for one brave couple who decided that they were okay with man-eating mosquitoes all around.

Unable to take the bites any longer, we headed back to the car, only to find our legs covered in red welts.

Went to Umi for sushi afterwards.

Steph and I split a plate and it was really good!

I got home feeling all tired from the three hour drive but it was all good...... until I got onto Facebook.

Without going into details, I will just say that somebody had completely flipped out on me because of a misunderstanding and said some things that were hurtful to me on many different levels. This is a person whom I've always known to dislike me and has hurt me on several occasions by bringing up my past and airing it out in front of me and other people.

So to read those things and get vibes of complete hatred come against me really overwhelmed me for a while.

I was so glad that I could call Khads to cry and talk about it.

I just felt so stuck. I felt like I was under attack for no good reason and no matter what I did or said, there was nothing I could do to amend the situation.

That's when I realised that I really was under attack. Spiritual attack, that is.

Jay said a few weeks back during C.L.I.M.B. that Satan will try to attack you using two methods: either by messing up your relationships, or calling up your past to bring you down.

Last night, both of those tactics were definitely thrown out at me.

Khads prayed for me but I'll admit that I wasn't praying whole-heartedly along with her. I was just too distracted by my own state of mind. As a result, this entire day was spent in almost utter irritation at anything and everything possible.

It finally came to a point where I could feel a headache coming on and I knew I needed to just get out of the house, go for a run and have a talk with God.

So I did that.

And as I ran, God spoke to my heart. I knew I was being stubborn about certain things but He helped me give it up and leave behind me. I drove home in a much improved mood and things are better now.

I cannot believe how hard this week has been for me spiritually. Everyday it's just something else. But while times are tough, God is tougher. And all these trials and tribulations are doing nothing but pull me closer to the One who comforts and sustains me. In every way and everyday, His presence goes before me and I am so grateful for that.

Thank You, Lord, for being so patient with my disbelief this week. For understanding my weakness and my impatience. I've failed you so many times in my heart- but I know that when my imperfection manifests and I give it up to You, it is an opportunity for You to shave it off of me. I know that You are making me to be just like You. Thank You for continuing to do so. In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen.

July Third

If yesterday's any indication of what's going down today, I'm really excited!

My mom made an awesome dinner of sushi and we had friends over for dinner.

Later in the evening, we headed down to Conshohoken for fireworks. The whole place was absolutely jammed packed with people and cars. It was crazy!

Yesterday was also Max's birthday so we sang a song to him.

How lucky to have fireworks on your birthday every single year!

Life Seems Rosy

Life seems rosy, but it's really not.

Last night, Nat and I went on a late night run to get sushi in New York City.

Had Pinkberry for dessert!

Found *gasp* Calbee crackers in the Korean supermarket.

Empire State Building looks amazing.

Laughed like maniacs at the Baby Gap mannequins in the display window.

Seriously. Could not stop laughing.

Lovely pink tulips scattered all over K-town.

Today's weather was so magnificently warm that we just had to run and play outside.

More spring blooms.

Actual insects!

The best part of today is a tie between a crazy water balloon fight after track practice and bible study in the evening.

This was the first bible study we've had in a few weeks because of various things that came up before. Although something inside me seemed to be fighting against going there today, I came out of it feeling refreshed and glad to be among other Christians again.

We talked about so many things, I can't even begin to transcribe our conversations. But one of the messages that really stood out to me was about trials and temptations. Why?

I found out why when I got back to my dorm room.

Things between my roommates and I really escalated tonight and I felt myself trembling from the great struggle I was going through. I can honestly say I've never felt this angry yet calm at the same time. While my mind sought peace, my flesh craved revenge and spite. My heart yearned for Christ but my hands were literally shaking from not typing out spiteful Facebook statuses to appease my anger.

We had another impromptu roommate meeting which, in my opinion did not start well at all. But by the end of it, I felt God just rest His peace upon my heart. My anger went away and I left humbled by the situation.

It was really quite strange. One moment I felt so overwhelmed by anger that my heart was beginning to hurt. After praying in my head to God to help me (I did this almost unconsciously... it was like my spirit prayed without any words), I suddenly saw my roommate through new eyes. I no longer hated her nor was I looking for things to accuse her with. I just wanted to soothe things over and I could feel my heart just change towards her.

So miraculous. My God is an Awesome God!

I do all this because I love You dear God. You are the only One worth living for. I can't live for myself anymore. My pride? What of it? My face? Dignity? Those things don't mean anything because they can never compare to knowing You. So what if I lose these battles? If You are with me, who can be against me? So Lord, I entrust my battles to You and I ask that Your hand will continue to be with me and upon me. Turn Your face towards me and keep me in Your favour at all times. I humble and quiet myself at Your feet. Save me from the wreck I am. Help me to remember that we fight not against flesh and blood, but against the powers and principalities of darkness. But You O Lord, who are in me, is greater than he who is in this world. Amen.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

"Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless." (James 1:26)