Everyday Wednesday

Yay! I finally figured out how to use my phone's 3G network as my personal hotspot- which means that I now have Internet in my room! I no longer have to squat in the hallway just to read my emails at night! This is great!

Let's see... I just got home from a nice evening out with my family. My dad, brother and I went for a run at the Botanic Gardens and because it was nighttime, I got lost! I ended up running a lot longer than I initially planned to. I must've run countless laps round the lake just trying to find the way back to the entrance. The Singapore Botanic Gardens actually looks pretty cool at night. There are rows of lit up christmas trees as well as crazy long blue lights streaming down from tall trees. It makes them look like species straight out of Avatar. 

After the run, we headed to Jalan Besar where we had turtle soup for dinner.

You may be wondering why there aren't any pictures to show for it. Thing is, I've been geo-blogging on this app called Feecha and it's so much more convenient than blogging in here. It's kinda sad, because Mindystolethecookie has a lot of sentimental value to me. However, @Missymindie on Feecha is just faster and I can do it anywhere, anytime. 

But I still do want to keep this place alive. It's just that when I am out with people, I am ALWAYS typing on my phones. Adding a camera to my already growing pile of electronic gadgets kind of makes me seem antisocial when out with friends or family. I feel like I have to tread carefully here before they all feel like I'm spending more time with my gadgets than with them!

Anyway, so far I feel really blessed to have this job. I don't dread going to work each day and I don't look forward to going home at the end either. It's true that I have to get up early each day and do work even when I get home some days, but I enjoy this feeling of always having something to do. It's such a big contrast to the past few months when all i've had to do was to sleep, eat, and poop. So much so that I'm treasuring every minute of it!

Of course it helps too that everyone in the office is super nice and laidback. God really really landed me in an awesome place!

Okay that's all I have to talk about tonight. I don't think my life is that exciting anyways. Just wanted to record some of the mundane things that are going on before 2012 swings around. 

Goodnight!

New Post

Hello! 

Has it really been that long since my last post? For some reason, it doesn't feel like that much time has gone by. Yet so many things have happened since then. 

First things first, I got an internship! 

It's been going well and I've been enjoying it so far. Most importantly, I am just so grateful that God has given me an opportunity to do SOMETHING now besides eating and sleeping! The best part is, two floors below my office, there's a Christian bookstore that I can go to during my lunchtime. I checked it out this morning and bought a CD already. 

I have no idea where this is going, but I trust that the Lord will direct my steps. As long as I lean on His understanding and not mine, He will make my path straight!

As for other areas of life- I had a big fight with my mom last week but we are doing very well now. I am trying my best to communicate with her as much as I can and she is doing the same as well. There is no more friction left hanging in the air even though we are both very busy and only see each other maybe fifteen minutes each day. 

Also, I've been facing tremendous temptation since two weeks ago. All of a sudden, I felt like a lot of things were thrown in my face. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and scared that I would fall to it, but I was greatly encouraged on Sunday by Mrs. Hane (house Bible study's host's wife...). I know a lot of temptation may come my way to try to snatch me out of God's hands, but He is not going to test me beyond what I can handle. And most importantly, He will be right there with me when I am being tested. 

This coming Friday, I have to go to a fancy club for work. Of all places! It's going to be a networking sort of thing and I am hoping that it will turn out well. However, I'm also getting the feeling that I am about to walk into the lions' den. I don't know what's ahead of me, but I can only pray that our Lord Jesus Christ will go on ahead and clear the way. 

Life is really really picking up. 

It's so weird. One moment, I'm lying in bed all day. The next, I hardly have time to breathe. 

But I have peace from the Prince of Peace :)

First Interview

I went for my first interview in Singapore today. 

Boy, when I finally put on all my clothes and looked into the mirror, my professional-looking self kind of scared me for a moment. I thought about all the times I watched my mom get ready for work when I was little, and here I was, preening myself just like she did when I thought she looked so "big" and "adult"! 

The interview didn't go amazingly well because I was a little bit too nervous. The interviewer kindly gave me some honest feedback afterwards and her comments such as "too fidgety" and "not enough energy" only served to highlight what I'd already suspected. 

Not all is lost though. I am really glad that my first interview did not go smoothly, so that I will be better prepared for my next one. 

Who knows?

I hope in a month or so, yours truly will be fully employed. By then I'd probably look back on this day and smile. I'll probably also miss my carefree (extended) summer days. 

Tomorrow is going to be an important day. I am going to spend some serious time with the One who will give me a REAL interview someday... You know, the one where He decides whether I go to heaven or hell......

My mind is heavy but my heart is light. 

Praise God for all the things He's done in our lives! Even the "bad" things! I am praising Him for them because "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

The Search Continues...

Okay, confession time. 

I have not applied to a single job in Singapore yet. Unconsciously, I've been holding back in fear, not faith. I think I'm just afraid that things will not work out- either that I'll hate my job or be horrible at it. 

Funny... I'm listening to Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture right now and they're singing "you make all things work together for my good" over and over again. 

Hmm......

I know that! 

But I just......

Okay. Tomorrow I will apply to at least one. I promise. 

Watch this space. 

Godwinks

I just finished reading the book When God Winks On New Beginnings- Signposts of Encouragement For Fresh Starts And Second Chances by Squire Rushnell. It was actually a really fast read for a valid reason: I am currently SO involved with this subject of "new beginnings". 

For almost a year now, the building anticipation of graduation and a move to Singapore has been causing my heart to swing from anxiety to excitement. Even now, I sit with the weighty expectation of a job search on my lap. 

I love the fresh new smell of an unused notebook. 

To my mixed fear and delight, a beautiful new book has just been gifted me by God but I am just stumped as to what kind of story I want to fill its pages with.

In When God Winks On New Beginnings, Squire Rushnell mentions Alice asking the Cheshire Cat for directions. Unfortunately, she does not have a destination in mind- to which the Cheshire Cat points out: "Then it doesn't matter much which way you go."

I suppose that's me right now.  

I sat in bed last night trying to trace some lines around the things I'm passionate about and the dreams i've always held in my heart and came to one conclusion: I need to narrow them down. 

Is it a good or bad thing to have a thousand and one dreams? 

Perhaps it's merely a clue as to my lack of passion in any one particular thing, but I've come to some general ideas about the things I truly enjoy just for the sake of doing them. 

1. I like to be in the great outdoors.
2. I like to work in interaction with people & animals.
3. I like to feel as though the work I do is socially rewarding.

I guess that narrows it down a bit, doesn't it? 

Now I just have to step out in faith and wait patiently for those green light moments, those "Godwinks" when I know God is nodding His head in approval and smiling upon the work of my hands.

Uncertainty About Singapore

The countdown's getting closer with each day... All of a sudden the past seven years seem so unreal, like they never happened at all. How different things were back then.

Sometimes I sit in my bedroom and remember how I felt looking out the window back when I was fourteen. I was bored, angry and always felt empty. When I remember that feeling, my heart cringes. How did I ever get through those days without any love, without any light in my life? I cannot imagine life without Christ now that I've tasted what true joy feels like.

I'm on the verge of returning to Singapore- which would have made me extremely happy even five years ago. But now it is with a trembling, scared feeling that I will fly back. Although Singapore will always be my childhood home, the U.S. has also become a home to me too. Again I will have to leave behind friends and family that I've grown really close to in the past years. Again I will have to say goodbye to the little blessings that God's given me; like my cat, my car and even random things like nice wooded trails to run on nearby.

I don't think my friends and family in Singapore quite understand...... I am going back a brand new being. I am not the same Mindy that I was even last summer. I am afraid of how they may react to my passion for Christ. I am scared that I won't be able to find fellow Christians who are willing to be broken for Christ. And not to mention the darkest cloud which looms in the distance- having to look for (and decide upon) a job.

In a sense, I feel as if I were an alien moving to another planet. I dread that same old bored, angry and empty feeling that comes from being alone in my thoughts.

Why oh why do I forget that the Lord is always with me?

On Saturday Steph passed me a beautiful picture of the burning bush in Exodus which she had painted that day and wrote "I will be with you" on it. When I saw the painting, I realised that God had already seen the worries welling up in my heart like Moses had back then.

Moses was married, he had a job (shepherding) and was probably satisfied with his calm life in Midian with his new family. However God chose to jolt him out of his comfort zone at just the right time to return to Egypt- the place of his childhood home. Moses was afraid... just like I am. But God said "I will be with you".

Dear Lord, I have no idea what the future holds. When doubts come to haunt me, I pray that You will wipe them away with Your hands. Heavenly Father, even though I may go to the ends of the earth, whether it be Washington State, Cape Cod or Singapore, You are always there with me, whispering in my ears, comforting my heart. Although my friends and family are but fleeting shadows in my life, You will never leave my side. You give me strength and courage to face whatever comes my way. You shine light unto my paths so I know where to tread. Dear God, I give you all the uncertainties and bad feelings about moving back to Singapore and ask that You will fill me with Your amazing peace. Grant me a safe journey home and continue to fulfill my every need as You have been doing. God You are just so wonderful...... You are the best thing, the only thing in my life that holds any value whatsoever. Help me to focus on You all the days of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

What I've Been Up To & Thoughts

Yes... I know I disappeared for a while, but I'm back now!

I can't believe the week after graduation passed so quickly. It seems as if I blinked my eye and it went by. Here's a really really condensed recap of what I've been up to with my dad visiting.

Spent two days touring NYC.

Ate in and shopped at Peddler's Village.

More shopping at the Philadelphia Premium Outlets.

Visited the Amish, of course.

Had an amazing Memorial weekend.

Basically hung out in the lovely weather.

Celebrated my twenty-second birthday with family.

Set up a lemonade stand with the boys.

Went bowling (boy, I really stink now).

Went picnicking at Lake Nockamixon.

Had ice cream at Merrymead Farm.

Then it was time to say goodbye...

After he left, I spent the next day cleaning the house and doing laundry. There were a lot of errands that had piled up during the time that he was here and I had to get those out of the way too.

This morning I went with my young adults' group from church (C.L.I.M.B.) to a place called SHARE in Philadelphia to volunteer. We didn't know what we would be doing until we got there.

Since SHARE gives out charity boxes to the elderly with food inside, we had to help them put together the boxes. The goal was 700 finished boxes, but we soon learnt that the assembly line wasn't as easy as it looked.

Although we only managed to finish about 300 boxes, it was still a great feeling to be tired from doing some manual work. Not to mention, helping out a non-profit organisation at the same time.

And since it was Dorie's birthday, we celebrated it in the afternoon with ginormous Philly cheesesteaks at Mama's Pizzeria and draped her in pink paper ribbons after C.L.I.M.B. at night.

So that basically sums up my activities in the past week and a half or so.

Everyone has been asking me what I'm going to do now that I've graduated and I still give them the same reply: "I DON'T KNOW".

I'll admit that once in a while, I do get jittery about my future. I think about all the things that I have not done right or done enough and imagine that my life is just going to go downhill from here. But that's just me forgetting God's promises and losing focus.

The other day, I got a little upset thinking about all the reasons why I'm probably going to end up falling short of what I know I could achieve in this life. It was rather depressing and I realised that though I'm a big-time slacker and a "anything, whatever" kind of person on the surface, I actually do harbour desires for a certain level of "greatness".

Greatness- not necessarily in monetary terms, nor am I talking about fame... But just something. I just know I'm made for so much more than this... But what?

I can tell that my mom is trying her best to back off from prodding me too much about finding a job, but just being able to sense her nervousness can be a little frustrating.

I wish everyone would calm down and not think that I am being a slacker right now. All things in due time...

I have too many options to choose from and yes, although it's both a boon and a bane, I shall look upon this situation as a blessing. How many people have this many choices concerning their futures after graduating from college?

I know that wherever I go, whatever I end up doing, God will bless the work of my hands if I am working for Him. So I am not worried about that.

I just need to move.