L'Etoile Cafe & Public Holiday

This week has been a fairly fun week. When I say "fun", I really mean that I've been able to go out more and do something else other than cook, clean and watch Brendan!

On Monday night, Jerry took me out on a date to L'Etoile Cafe. He knows I like surprises, so he attempted one by not telling me where we were going to eat. It was a nice break from the usual because he is usually so predictable in his habits.

Given that he doesn't usually frequent hipster places like these, I was also astonished that he would even know of its existence. Of course, I later found out that he only discovered this place through a previous company dinner. Haha!

It also made the night all the more enjoyable when we discovered that L'Etoile was having a 1-for-1 main course deal.

He ordered the oregano chicken for me but we switched plates with each other afterwards.

I ended up having the roast pork belly instead and it was delicious. The skin was crunchy on the outside and sinfully buttery on the inside from the fat. It definitely felt like four pieces wasn't enough!

The first half of the dinner was marred by cigarette smoke from the adjacent table, but the patrons left soon enough and we could breathe easily again. I had initially wanted to sit indoors, but the tables were already taken.

Wednesday was a public holiday and I got to go down to ION to eat my favorite Scotts beef noodles again. It's now $6 a bowl as compared to $4.50 a bowl from five years ago!

In the late afternoon, we brought Brendan downstairs for a swim at the pool. He's really into his basketball these days. I bought it from Daiso. They have a rather fun variety of toys for $2. 

The weather was perfect and I didn't even have to use the shade on Brendan's float. We circled around the pool and even went in the jacuzzi together.

Public Transport In Singapore With Kids

Before I became a parent, I've had the privilege of living in the States with a car. When I first moved to Singapore and could no longer afford to drive due to the high cost of car ownership, I gladly took to public transport since I happened to live within a 5 minute sheltered walk of an MRT station. That was when I was single... Sure, it bothered the impatient me sometimes that it would take over an hour to get from one end of the island to the other, but how could I have reason to complain when the transport system here doesn't smell like urine, is sufficiently air-conditioned and is fairly reliable compared to the NYC subway?

Things took a drastic left turn once I became pregnant. When I was single, I would sometimes sit in the handicapped seats but always give it up whenever I saw an elderly person get on the train. Sometimes I gave up my seat when I wasn't even in a handicap priority seat. However, I hardly ever found myself giving up seats to pregnant women. Why? It wasn't because I didn't want to. It was mainly because I couldn't identify them until they were much bigger.

I'm 5'11" and very skinny. When I was 6 months pregnant, you could hardly tell if I were wearing something baggy. But I remember the first time I really needed a seat and there was none. It was when I was just 3 months pregnant that nausea symptoms came over me like a dark cloud. I probably looked like a teenager with my backpack and track & field T-shirt on with a pair of exercise shorts. Desperately, I looked over to the handicapped seats. They were filled with other young people playing on their phones or "fake sleeping", as many Singaporean commuters are infamous for doing. I tried to suppress the feeling of vomit and my head started to go black. Oxygen wasn't reaching my brain. I found myself sliding down to the floor and squatting just in case. Thankfully, a seat became available at the next stop and somebody offered it to me instead of taking it for herself.

I found myself becoming increasingly resentful as the months rolled by and my tummy grew in size. I naively thought that as my physical body expanded, that my inward suffering would become more apparent to the world. People should become more sympathetic right?

Wrong. I was so wrong. Even with my stomach bulging and just a week to go before Brendan was born, I found myself standing for a full 45 minutes on the MRT. My feet were so swollen by the time I got to my destination that I couldn't walk out of the station until I had taken off my shoes and rested my legs. My shoulders were aching from carrying a small bag because I had to hold on to an upper handrail. But it wasn't the physical pain that hurt the most. It was those uncaring eyes that sat in front of me- the eyes of the young, healthy, working professionals that closed the moment they saw me standing over them. The eyes that looked down into their phones and nothing else as other old people and pregnant women came on board the same carriage. It was the most ironic sight I'd ever seen- seats filled with young men and aisles filled with the elderly and pregnant carrying heavy bags. I felt so heartbroken, I went home and cried. How could people be so unfeeling?

Occasionally, I encountered posts on Facebook that would shame people who did not give up priority seats to the needy. The comments left on those posts completed the sense of utter sorrow and hopelessness that I felt.

"Why don't you open your mouth and ask someone for a seat instead of complaining next time?"

"Can't afford a car? Don't have kids!"

"Take a taxi and stop whining!"

"Do you know that other people feel tired too? Some people have illnesses that you cannot see and they need a seat too!"

Over and over again. As I scrolled and read these sentiments, they pierced my heart like icy arrows. I realized that giving up seats to the needy was an ideal that only a minority shared. How did this society end up like this?

My first pregnancy was just the beginning of an endlessly terrible relationship with Singapore's public transport.

When it rained, I would have to take a cab. This could set me back at least $30-60 a day. I can't tell you how difficult it is to board a taxi without anybody helping you, a baby in one arm, having to fold a stroller and put it in the back and get all your belongings in the car... Quickly, I might add.

To take a bus, you're required to fold your stroller before boarding. Sounds simple enough, if you had four arms that is. One for the baby, one for the stroller, one for your things and one to hold on to the rail to keep you all from flying to the back of the bus. Bus drivers usually don't wait for you to get seated before driving off. It's dangerous, but they're on a schedule. I get it. For everyone else's safety, the stroller has to be folded nonetheless. Moms and babies can always put a bandaid on if they get hurt I suppose.

In the span of a year of taking buses with Brendan and having to fold and carry my stroller on board, I have only ever had ONE kind young man help me to carry it on board. Most other people just look at me struggling sadly or avert their eyes- as if you could look away from a suffering person and their suffering would just evaporate. Not a single bus operator has ever helped me to carry my stroller on board despite it being part of their job to do so. They routinely help wheelchair-bound people get on the bus though. I'm not sure why this is the prevalent practice.

Now that I'm about very obviously 5 months pregnant and traveling around with a 15 month old, you'd think that things could possibly get better. I'm sorry to say that it only gets worse. Just yesterday, a journey from Khatib to Newton saw me walking and pushing the stroller 15 minutes to the MRT station (I can't take the bus because of the stroller folding rule), stand 30 minutes on the train (no seats were offered) and walk another 15 minutes to my destination (again, no bus).

Let's just say I'm getting used to feeling faint in the heat of the sun these days. This is me, a former cross-country runner (my fastest 5k was run under 20 minutes) and I'm having fainting spells from bringing my toddler and pregnant self around this little tropical island. Do I count my blessings because I do not have pregnancy complications? What about those who do?

It's ironic that those who are the most willing to give up their seats are usually the elderly and pregnant women themselves. I say usually, because I have encountered parents who did not give up their seats to others as well- and I refer to the dads sitting next to their wife and kids.

Most days, after a trip on public transport, I come home feeling completely drained mentally and physically and it takes a full 24 hours for the accumulated swelling and cramping to go away. Also, being pregnant means frequent peeing. But being pregnant and taking public transport with a toddler means frequently having to hold your bowels.

I think what I wish for the most isn't physical rest, but just sympathy and an understanding. It is one thing to suffer physically, but it is another to be made to feel as if raising a family were some disease you brought upon yourself. Since when did children and mothers become such burdens to society? Why am I looked upon as a bad mother since I must struggle taking public transport daily instead of being able to afford an outrageously priced car?

I really don't think living in a first-world country definitely means comfort in every way. People talk about Singapore being one of the safest countries in the world but nobody sees the anxiety us females go through when we stand in a crowded bus or train surrounded by males. Who will stand and speak up for a molestation victim when none will even stand up for a pregnant woman?

What Singapore's public transport has given to me is something very valuable. I will never look at the swollen ankles of an old woman the same way again. When I see her shift her weight from one foot to the other, I can feel her pain in my body. When I watch other people turn a blind eye to a heavily pregnant woman and her eyes turn a watery pink, I understand how she feels. When I see people rush past the handicapped to take their places in the lifts, I sense their frustration. All of this gives me the strength to speak out for others and also patience to regard the plights of others.

These days, I've given up waiting around for my physical pain to end. I tell myself that I have to be strong for my kids and that strength cannot come from anyone else but God. Whenever I feel exhausted, a scene from the movie China Cry of a very pregnant Nora Lam always encourages me (see 1:28:43)



I shall trust my body to Him and not to people.

What Life Has Been

Brendan is now 14 months and 3 weeks old. He used to take two 1.5-2hr naps in the day, but I decided to drop one nap a few days ago and consolidate them into one 3hr nap in the afternoon. So far, so good. My baby quickly is growing into a toddler...

He's currently in love with his blankets and Megabloks. If the blanket is within his reach, he will try to pull it out from between the slats of the crib and crawl with it everywhere. I really don't like when he does that because his blanket would be dusty later on. So the moment I spot him with his blanket outside the crib, I will take the blanket from him and put it back in an unreachable spot. Thankfully, he won't cry or protest when I do that. He knows when mommy means business!

The guitar is another source of fun for Brendan.

Sometimes, I leave it lying on the couch and he will crawl up to pat the strings or examine the various little parts of it.

He's been taking little steps on his own since he was 13.5 months old. But like his extremely cautious INTJ dad, he prefers to do everything the "safe", "proper" and "certain" way. Despite obviously being able to walk on his own, he's still taking his time to master his balance- almost as if he wants to be an expert in standing alone before venturing onto the next step. I love that I'm able to observe this part of his analytical personality so early on!

My second Mothers' Day was filled with flowers, smiles and cake. My dad actually came by HOB earlier and dropped off (our favorite) strawberry cheesecake from SSC without telling me. It was a really pleasant and delicious surprise!

I wished my mom were in town. I would have gotten her something to eat too... Haha

When the weather's nice, I'd take Brendan to the playground downstairs where he can meet other babies and practice his standing/walking. He usually spends his time standing in a corner observing the other children play or walking round the poles.

Everyday is a new day of discovery and mastery for him.

Sometimes I am (not so happily) surprised by his new abilities.

But mostly, I love the daily smiles, cuddles and kisses that I get from him :)

How's Married Life?

I haven't even completed blog posts about the wedding and stuff, but I feel like I should answer this question right now since every time I meet someone, it's the first thing I'm asked. 

"How's married life?"

Okay, yesterday was our one month anniversary and I totally forgot. I only remembered this morning because I tried to sleep in after 9am and couldn't. The irritation drove me to think about work and all the days that I have to work this week. That drove me further to try to remember what day it is. I thought it was the 24th. 

24th??? Hmmm.... Why does that date sound so familiar?

OHHH!!!

*hurries to text Jerry that yesterday was our one month anniversary*

But really, I know he forgot and I know he knows that I forgot as well and we both don't really care haha.

That's kind of how married life is like. It's pretty much like how life was before we were married; just that we get to sleep together in the same room every night now.

What that means is:

An extra hour of sleep for the man
(He doesn't have to send me home every night and then send himself home after that.)

We have to solve every argument/issue like right away

(If not... there'll be NO SLEEPING HERE TONIGHT NO, NO SLEEPING HERE TONIGHT)

No space for me to roll around

(Because space is limited when you share a bed with someone)

Unlimited cuddle time

(That is, until the man demands sleepy time)

We don't threaten each other with undertones of "breaking up" anymore (yeah we, Christian, adults, are still capable of that) because well, we took a vow and we know it came with a No Return policy. So these days, it sounds more like us being on the same team and trying to work it out together because we both know... there could be NO SLEEPING HERE TONIGHT NO and of course it hurts to see the other party upset.

Truthfully, it is way more upsetting to see your partner upset than to just be upset. And interestingly, the two of those events aren't mutually exclusive. He gets upset when he sees me being upset and vice versa. We have had to pray through these moments when we get stuck in our "you're upset so I'm upset NO I'M UPSET BECAUSE YOU'RE UPSET". It's miserable to be stuck in there and only God can pull us out of it.

But really, married life is great.

That is, if you are willing to endure the agony of having to swallow your pride 24/7/365.

Update So Far

Finally. 

A Saturday morning that doesn't have me running around town. I'm just going to lie in bed till past 12 and let my aching legs rest. 

The reason why my legs are aching is because I did a roadshow yesterday from 2 till 6 in the afternoon. It was really fun, although it got tiring towards the end. The fun part was getting to meet all sorts of different people. 

In all other areas of my life, things seem to be alright. But I must confess that spiritually, I am struggling. I find that I have very little faith in God. When I pray, I tend to doubt nowadays. It's not good, I know... And I feel guilty for doubting... 

I guess the reason why I doubt these days is because I have not been fully obedient to the Lord. Weird huh? I guess one simply cannot trust if one does not obey. I've come to see that the two come hand-in-hand. Anyway, it's affecting me wanting to pray and read the Bible these days...



..............................................

I'll be turning 25 this year. 

How time flies... I remember being 15 and thinking that my 25 year old friend was really old. It's my turn now!

Hmm... 

I dyed my hair back to a darker brown color last week. 

And that's about all that's new with me :)

Mmpff

Nothing much has been going on in my life recently. Just you know, got struck by lightning (the kind that makes you think about somebody all day). Somehow, it's annoying to be back in this. I do not like feeling out of control. Still, I guess it's simply another journey that I must embark on. 

Work is slowing a bit, partly because I feel out of control and partly because I feel a bit fried on the inside.

I feel like taking my own shoulders, shaking them thoroughly and screaming in my own face "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU MINDY WAKE UP!"

Not that it would work very much. 

I just... feel like...

A melted piece of caramel popcorn on a pretty beach. 

Bleah. 

28th May Two Thousand Thirteen

It's been almost five hours since I turned 24 (yes I'm counting from the very hour I was born) and this is what I have to show for it so far.

Connie gave me a pair of Rilakkumas for my birthday. Oh doesn't she know me well? 

Haha!

That said, my order arrived in the mail this evening. 

RIGHT ON TIME.

Say hello to my new Razor Cult Streets, size 7! 

I bought them off Rollerwarehouse.com and was really shocked when they took less than two weeks to ship it here from California. 

So. Impressed.

I took them out for a spin already. Now the difficult part is to decide whether to keep doing aggressive skating for a while and cut the urban, or to continue doing both simultaneously. I'm worried that one will affect the other, since both skating styles are really quite different. 

Also, having run out of Korean dramas to snack on, I've taken to my bookshelf for entertainment. Here's one I haven't touched in years. 

Goodnight and goodbye my 23 year old self. 

Last Few Weeks Of Being 23

My birthday is coming up next week and I can't help but feel a little sad. As the years roll by and I leave my teenage years behind, I find myself wishing that time could stand still. I know youth is a gift and it doesn't last for long. Like a whisper, it comes and goes. 

I also know that someday in the future, I am going to wake up and realise that I needed to sleep at 9pm not 3am. My bones are going to feel more brittle and my muscles- less responsive. 

Almost all my hobbies involve raising my heart rate to a racing bpm, which is why I dread the day my body fails on me. 

I look at all these young kids around me doing things I wish my fifteen year old body were still around to do. 

So it is with such a mindset that I have been living life. 

Fast-paced. 

No space to breathe. 

Few weeks ago Shirley, two other friends and I went skating/cycling at East Coast Park.

We made it to Bedok Jetty.

And stayed out there moon-gazing for some time.

It was so beautiful, big and bright that night.

On a different day, MingXian drove us both into Johor Bahru, Malaysia. We had lunch at a wanton mee place.

Spent almost two hours grocery shopping in KSL City Mall.

Had dinner at the Bamboo restaurant.

Hung out at Danga Bay after dinner.

Poor MingXian had no choice but to be dragged onto this ride. Even though it was small, it was really fun!

Then we just took a million photos for the rest of the night.

Had a Friday night urban skate as usual to the recently-finished Marina Bay Sands hawker centre.

Met up with the Davidians for our monthly get-togethers.

Went ice-skating with the usual Friday urban crew on a separate Friday.

 

Fell while telling people to "watch out for the curve in front". 

LOL 

Attended Shan Shan's graduation ceremony.

I love graduation ceremonies. I love them even more when they're held in a church with a service and worship before and everything. 

Well, I guess this was my first graduation ceremony that was held in a church with a service and worship before and everything. 

I cried during worship. The songs we sang somehow made me think about how lucky we were with Eric's situation and how God's grace just saves us... weak sinners... I thought about our mission in life and whether I am living out that mission to bring people to Christ. 

Hmm. 

(Note to self: don't wear mascara to church services, graduation or not)

Skated around MBS (yet again) with the three amigos. 

Snacked on the night view.

Finished off with a heavy supper at 126 in Geylang.

This is only one-thirds of the food that we ordered and tried desperately to finish.

On Friday, I went prawning at Farmart with Alu.

And Annie!

Annie had quite a few firsts that morning. 

First time eating MacDonald's breakfast, first time catching a prawn and first time being at Farmart!

Nothing beats eating the prawns you caught. 

Swimming one moment, dead and cooked the next. YUMZ.

So, horrors of horrors. 

I just got back from Skateline's monthly Saturday Night Skate and it was on this fateful night that I dropped my iPhone twice and cracked its screen.

My phone looks like a rat just chewed on it now. 

T^T

The first of the birthday gifts have arrived.

A special chinese recorder-like instrument from Chuan gu & Aunty Pei Leng! 

It's too late to try it now since everybody is sleeping, but I'll probably start chirping away later this morning when I wake up for church.

Gonna be playing the piano at Sunday School later...

I don't know how to explain the rush and mix of emotions that I have right now. But one thing I know: no matter what the situation, no matter how old I am getting or how young I am feeling, my purpose in life is simply to praise God, and I have very good reasons to do so.

All my life Lord, I give it to you! I give all my energy, youth, money and time to the furthering of your kingdom. In every walk of life, I ask that you use me like a vessel to pour forth your Spirit. In every action, word or thought of mine, I pray that you reach out to those who need you most. 

January Updates

Kinda lost the motivation to blog nowadays, even though I might have the time and lots of thoughts to pen down. Half of it is due to laziness, while the other half is just due to boredom I suppose. We simply have too many mediums of communication to choose from these days!

Well there are several things that I want to talk about in this catchup/summary post. 

.............................

Firstly, about my new job. 

I'm currently working as a full-time financial consultant and my work involves meeting people, working out their financial goals as well as matching their needs with suitable insurance products. When I first started telling people that I was considering the insurance industry, I received many different reactions. Some were extremely surprised as to why a college graduate like myself would consider entering the fearsome sales industry. Others said I would be well-suited for this type of work since I am generally an outgoing person. 

I don't really have the time or space to write down all the reasons why I felt the insurance business is the ideal industry for me to be in, but one thing is for sure- with every passing day, I am loving it more and more. I feel almost as if this job was made just for me. Not only does it meet all my requirements for a fulfilling career (opportunity to impact people's lives, proper compensation, flexible hours, opportunity to grow, challenging), it's also opening my eyes to a whole new world that I've never seen. Will elaborate on that last point next time. 

Well, as much as I am enjoying my job, I am also beginning to see that it is not an easy one. In many ways, financial consultancy is a lot like farming to me. No matter what the weather is or how tired you are, you just have to be out there in the field working everyday during the sowing seasons. There is no room for excuses and even less for self-pity. The business is your own and you really do reap what you sow. Therefore, no pain no gain. 

.............................

Next, about my two main hobbies outside of work. 

My passion for skating has cooled down quite a bit since last November. I remember how I used to be so excited when Friday nights would roll around. I would enthusiastically organise the skate every week and put in effort to make sure that everyone is able to make it. Nowadays, I don't even bother to check up on who can skate Friday nights or not. Last week, I didn't even show up, well, partly because of the weather and partly because I just wasn't that fired up about it anymore. While I know that my love for skating will probably flare up again someday, I'm quite comfortable leaving my skates in the backseat for now. 

As for DDR, I'm trying my best to control my daily addiction to it and so I haven't played for the past 2 days. I think the longest I managed to go without DDR so far, with the exception of my trip to Xiamen last December, is 4 days. 

Okay the next bit may not be understood by many, but I want to record it anyway. 

This is my progress in DDR since I started on November 9th 2012... 

Week 1: Bsp 6, dsp 8, speed 1.5

Week 2: 1st AA on Rainbow Rainbow dsp

Week 3: Esp 11

Week 4: (Went to Xiamen)

Week 5: FC & AA on dsp 10 song, esp 12

Week 6: FC & AA on LoveShine esp 10

Week 7: Esp 13

Week 8: A on a bdp 6 song

Week 9: Esp 12-13 (super tiring week)

Week 10: Got Extra Stage on my own with 3 AAs and a B, also AA'ed Theory of Eternity esp 12

Week 11 (This week): B on esp 14 songs (Fire Fire & Amalgamation), passed csp 13 songs

*****Terms used:

FC: Full combo

BSP- Basic Single Player, meaning Basic level, playing only on one side of the machine

DSP- Difficult Single Player

ESP- Expert Single Player

CSP- Challenge Single Player

BDP- Basic Double Player, meaning Basic level, playing on both sides of the machine

A/AA- These are grades based on your scores. To get a AA, you must be very rhythmically accurate. Highest is a AAA (pros achieve this grade fairly easily)

My goal in DDR for the upcoming month is to be able to score at least an A on an Esp 15 song. Right now it just seems impossible. The arrows don't even make sense to my eyes, but Steven and Raymond say it's possible, so I'm hoping that they're right! Apparently the top female players in Singapore are able to get a PFC (perfect full combo, probably at least a AA) on an Esp 15 song. Man, if I can achieve that standard soon, I will be so happy! (Cue song: "I'm So Happy"... Hahaha....... Nevermind...)

Sigh.. Whoever would have thought that I'd have this strange addiction to an arcade game 2 years ago?

.............................

Alright, last but not least, my walk with God. 

If I were to be completely honest with myself, I'd say that my spiritual life has more or less taken a backseat. With all the playing, working and skating around Singapore, I've been spending less and less quality time with God. And because of that, I've been finding it more and more difficult to live a pure and blameless life. 

Take for example my mouth. I used to be more loving and kind with my words, but recently I've found that old spiteful and irritable speech popping up unconsciously again. The worst part is, I feel my heart growing immune to it! It's not even about using bad words, but more like the attitude behind my every sentence. Instead of lifting people up and encouraging them, I've been focusing more on pleasing myself. 

I know that this is displeasing to God, but somehow I just feel my heart getting so cold. 

Last Saturday at fellowship, Eileen was talking about feeling like running away from God even when you know you should run towards God instead. I could totally relate to everything she was saying since I've been feeling that way too. 

It's like you know the right thing to do, but somehow you still disobey God and you feel guilty about it. Yet instead of bringing your sins to God and asking Him for forgiveness, you feel overwhelmed by your guilt instead and try to hide from His love and grace.

It's such a struggle, and even now as I'm typing, I still feel torn... 

Dear God, You alone know what is going on inside my heart. I don't even know what to say or what to ask for anymore, but whatever it is, I just want to be close to You again. And if it takes a storm to bring me close to You, I ask that You will send the rain. Help me not to take Your love for granted, but also help me to accept Your unconditional love and forgiveness. I pray for healing in my heart, for all the many hurts that only You know I have suffered. Fill me up once again with Your Holy Spirit so that I may rest in Your peace. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. 

Update

Hmm... Once again, I've been slacking off with blogging, mainly because I don't have Internet connection in my room and I no longer go to work on a daily basis. 

Since I left my last job, I've been spending my time studying for exams, playing DDR, going to church and just hanging out with friends. I even spent a few days in China with my dad visiting relatives. You know, I thought I would really enjoy the trip there, but instead I spent most of the time studying for an exam. Such is life!

Christmas and New Year's Eve is almost upon us, and once again, I'm asking myself the same old question: what is it that I want to do this year before the time has passed? 

To be honest, the answer is nothing. 

2012 was an absolutely amazing and fun year so I don't feel like I left any stone unturned. 

I'm too lazy to write more right now, so... That's about it for today. 

:) 

These Few Nights

If you go to Kinokuniya and see this person, be sure to mess up all the books she's packing on the shelf! 

;)

Just kidding.... 

Visiting friends at work is fun, especially when you get to prank them on the job!

On Tuesday I cooked a very imperfect pot of борщ to last me the whole week. 

Many things went wrong with it. I forgot to buy beets or beetroot as they call it here, which is a main ingredient. Fortunately the missing beets didn't alter the taste of the soup much. Also, I was lazy and sliced the carrots into rounds instead of grating it. I've found that grating carrots instead of slicing them improves the taste by A LOT so that's inexcusable. Lastly, I didn't put enough cabbage in there and the soup came out more sour than usual due to the extra tomatoes. 

Not my favourite pot of борщ ever, but still passable. 

The good thing is, борщ gets better with age up to a week, so I'm really looking forward to tonight's helping. It will be the third night it's been out on the stove. 

I miss cooking daily, but in our small kitchen at home, only one person can cook there comfortably, so I try not to step on my mom's toes too often. However this week, I really have to stay home and study every night. Every hour is precious, so eating out is not really a viable option. Thus the pot of soup to last a week. 

Last night I finished three chapters and didn't hit the lights till 04:30 in the morning. 

The worst part was, even after lying in bed and closing my eyes, I couldn't really fall asleep because my brain was being overly active. It's such a terrible feeling- to feel so physically exhausted yet being unable to shut my brain up. 

That's life for now, and I know it will be my life for the next few months, but that's alright. 

I kind of missed studying anyway. 

Just Stuff

Yesterday felt strange without my camera or iPhone. 

I'd left my camera at my aunt's house and the iPhone with the boss. All the gadgets I was left with was my Blackberry Curve and an iPod Nano that's all out of battery. 

It made me remember..... just how important my camera was to me. 

I didn't really care too much about the iPhone being gone, but the camera? That's tough!

So I spent all last night rollerblading a different route from Punggol Watertown to East Coast Park without a map. Not that Apple's map is all that helpful anyway. I wrote all the directions down on a receipt. 

My skating wheels are really small now that I've been skating so frequently. They're almost worn all the way to the middle. As a result, it took a lot more energy and effort to remain at the same pace that I usually would. No wonder I woke up this morning feeling sore all over. 

That being said, when I got the iPhone back this morning, I immediately proceeded to reload all the apps that I use. Some crazy people like Shirley have a gadzillion pages filled with apps on their phones, while others like Talia just use it for really basic stuff. 

I guess I use it for some fun, but I've really cut down on my overall usage since last year. Been skating and reading more these days I guess. 

The next post will be about the kinds of apps I use. Just a personal record. I sometimes try to recall the kinds of games or websites I frequented while in secondary school but the only ones I could recall were Kazaa, Neopets, MiRC, Popcap, Hotmail, Friendster... I know there were way more, but I just can't remember. With technology moving at such a phenomenal speed, I better write these mundane things down now before life changes and I lose all these memories...






P.S. (updated next morning)



I feel as if someone's playing a joke on me.

Last night as I was praying, I felt God was asking me what the dearest things to me are right now and if I'm willing to give them all up.

One of the things I listed was my camera (LOL), and I said YES GOD I'M WILLING TO GIVE THEM ALL UP FOR YOU!

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Then, my mom texted me this morning asking if she could borrow my camera next weekend when she's holidaying in Thailand. I was kinda unhappy because even though she already has her own DSLR, she wants to bring my camera instead because it's lighter (yeah that's why I chose it instead of a heavy DSLR!) and she said there's a weight restriction on the budget airline she's flying.

-___-

Well I said yes.


But....


>___<


Argh. Well you know sometimes you don't just voice promises to God without considering that He will test you to be true!

Dear God, please help me to be true to my word. Help me to not feel bitter or grudging, but to give with a willing and happy heart, remembering that all things in this world belong to you- the Creator.

Sigh... The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!

Useless Activities

I love it when everyone is out to lunch and I'm the only one left in the office. 

Just being alone in this space is enough to whip me back into a state of focus and concentration.

...

Last night I don't know what came over me, but I decided to iron all my bedsheets and pillow cases. I usually don't iron them, but after spending a good hour painstakingly ironing them on a tiny ironing board, I felt this incredible sense of accomplishment. 

Who knew ironing could be so addictive?

As if I wasn't sleepy enough already, I ventured to paint my nails and didn't get to sleep until about 2 in the morning.

Is it any wonder I always have such a hard time waking up early?