Getting Ready For The Big Day

Many people are surprised when I tell them that we're getting married in May.

"May...... 2015?" They ask. 

"No May, this year. 2014"

*cue look of utter shock* 

"ARE YOU PREGNANT???"

lol

Well, the truth is, I'm not pregnant. We'd just like to get married when our pastor is still in Singapore, my aunt is around and before my parents head back to the States. That leaves us with the end of May this year as our best option.

Not to mention, I'm such an impatient person. I really couldn't stand the thought of waiting an entire year to get married!!!

I know what many of you are thinking... How am I supposed to pull off a wedding with slightly less than two months to prepare? 

I got three words for you.

God Answers Prayer

The very moment Jerry and I knew we were going to get married this May, we clasped our hands together in prayer and asked God to go on ahead of us and help us plan our wedding. We knew there would be challenges ahead. Perhaps it would be difficult to book a wedding venue with such little notice. What about the photographers, makeup artist, the dresses, his suit, cake, etc etc etc?

There were simply too many things to worry about and we knew there was no use trying to handle it all on our own. So we sought God's hand and wisdom in our planning process.

You would not believe how quickly and amazingly God answered each and every one of our prayers!

In just a few days, we managed to narrow down, visit and book the venue of our choice. The last function room that was available on our wedding date was exactly the right size.

We got our wedding photography package signed up with Sophia Wedding along Tanjong Pagar Road. On that day, a couple cancelled their appointment at the last minute and I was able to pick my gown there instead of waiting a few weeks (it would have been too late by then).

I shopped for fabric with my aunts and had my cheongsam custom-made in Chinatown. The dressmaker's shop, Iris & Edel, were able to complete the cheongsam in time for my photoshoot despite having to alter it twice.

A few weeks later, we went for a food tasting session at our wedding venue. Everything tasted way better than I expected!

I spent an hour and a half the next day trying on dresses for my bridesmaids. We ended up choosing none of these. 

Then, something unfortunate happened. 

We hadn't skated for almost a month and I was missing the skatepark like crazy. So we went to the skatepark about two weeks before our photoshoot for a little skating session. 

That night, Jerry went home with two stitches in his upper lip and a bad scrape/bruise on his left knee. He couldn't smile without busting his stitches, nor could he walk properly. He was really upset that this happened so close to our photoshoot. 

I remember sitting with him on the floor at the skatepark, his face covered with blood. But I only felt peace. Somehow, I knew in my heart that everything would be okay. So I prayed with him that his wounds would heal before our photoshoot on April 24th. He had about 14 days to recover at that point. 

The day of the photoshoot came.

For once, we arrived at the studio on time. We were always so very late to our dress fittings (and that's bad!)

My mom and xiaoyee (aunt) came to help us with the shoot even though it was a weekday. Without them, we would not have been able to get to our photoshoot locations on time.

Oh, and do you see Jerry's wide smile in this photo?

Just the day before, his stitches came out and he was finally able to smile on the morning of our photoshoot. It was the first time I'd seen him smile since we were at the skatepark.

From the left: Jensen, the photographer's assistant. And Arsen, the photographer. 

Sadly, when the photos were completed, we found that we did not like any of them. Not because Arsen isn't a good photographer, but mainly because none of the shots were really taken in the kind of style we wanted (warm, natural, romantic). 

Thankfully, Sophia was very professional about it and offered to let us reshoot the entire thing. 

So that's what we'll be doing this coming Sunday... 

All the invites were done in a matter of two days.

Each invite took us about five minutes to put together. Fortunately, this isn't a big affair, so we were not overwhelmed by the invitations.

The bridesmaid dresses from TheBMDshop arrived within a day and Amanda and Talia got to try them on Saturday. They were perfect!

Pretty much everything is going smoothly and I truly don't have to worry about anything at all! 

I'm gonna miss my family when they're back in the States and I'm still here in Singapore, but at least I won't really be alone. I think being married helps. I've never actually thought about how I'd feel once my parents return, but now that I'm typing this out, I can see why God had me meet Jerry now...

I didn't even imagine that I could possibly feel this lonely, but thankfully God foresaw all of this and provided me with a husband to comfort me...

I am just so amazed that despite me failing Him and being such a pain, God is still willing to not only stand by me; in the midst of everything, He is still wanting to bless me. How wonderful and merciful is He!!!

To my future self reading this post again: I want to remind you of how God's grace truly has no bounds. 

You didn't think you needed anyone, but God sent you someone when you least expected it. He already knew that when your parents leave Singapore, you'd miss their noise, and so He took care of that. 

God is faithful!

When wedding preparations needed to be done, God did them all for you. You did not have to fret about anything at all.

God provides!

You used to worry about Jerry's spiritual growth. Has He not put His Spirit in Jerry's heart? 

God leads!

And now as the wedding day draws near and fear of the future tries to creep up on you... (well this is getting weird cause my future self is supposed to be reading this eh?)

Anyway...

God knows. He cares and He is always listening. He knows all your faults and weaknesses and He will not give you more than you can handle. He will always give you something to hope for and you do not have to worry about what the future holds because He has already taken care of it. All you have to do is to sit obediently at His feet, serving patiently and resting in the shadow of His wings. He will bring you good and not harm... 

Amen!!!

And Then I Let Go

So I finally let go of the thing/person that I've been holding on to stubbornly this whole time. It hurts a whole lot, but God gave me the grace and the strength to go through with it. I can honestly say that even through the pain, it feels good to do what God wants me to do. This was the first time I have been able to be "selfless" in a "romantic" sort of relationship. 

I don't know what the future holds, but God gave me many reassurances this afternoon. 

First, a verse from Haggai 2:19: 

"...From this day on I will bless you."

This verse struck me as I was reading the Bible before going to see him. I wrote it down in my book immediately and wrote today's date down. 

Secondly, as I was sitting dejectedly at the bus stop after our talk, a truck pulled up in front of me with two big words written on the side: 

"DELIVERING PROMISES"

That instantly reminded me of Dorie's vision which I'd almost forgotten about two years ago.

Lastly, Annie told me of a vision (that she's not entirely sure of) that she just received. She said she saw me "together with somebody that [she knows]". If this vision becomes reality, it will also be a confirmation to her that she does indeed have the gift of seeing visions.

Why am I writing all this down?

Because I know I will forget someday. I will live life like a rollercoaster and come to a scary drop someday, not believing that God is there to break my fall. This post is my Ebenezer stone, or rather, a reminder of God's faithfulness throughout my life.

I praise God today for all He has helped me to do! I did not know that I would even have the strength to stand, but I stood. I was not tested beyond what I could bear, even though it felt like it. He is faithful to do what He says He will! Amen!


Surely,

"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13)

The First Shall Be Last

Hey guys... It's been a LONG time since I've blogged with pictures. But really, my life ain't all that exciting. 

Unless you're hanging out with Talia, I guess... During the week that all the Abercrombie models were here, I refused to join in the crowd to go see them. I hate crowds! (And Abercrombie too.) However once the mob subsided, I thought, why not go check out their new flagship store in Singapore? 

Talia decided to chat one of them models up.... Okay, he's really an ex-classmate. 

The store overall was quite intricately laid out. I liked the typical wooden interior. And of course, their perfume filled your nostrils so you really gotta take a deep breath of outside air before going in. What I didn't enjoy though was all the A&F models greeting you EVERYWHERE. It was crazy. You couldn't walk more than five meters without saying hello to at least four or five people. I felt more like I was entering an exclusive club than a store. Feh, I would never be able to shop in peace there!

Saturday, I joined Audrey and her friend for dinner at Absolute Thai in 313 Somerset. The mango salad was whatever-tasting. The green mango wasn't sharp enough. The flavours all kind of fell flat. I don't know what else to say about it. I'm not a food blogger.

The seafood tom yam I guess was the only dish that I kind of enjoyed. To be fair, I had eaten a late lunch and didn't actually have much of an appetite.

We've been hanging out more than usual since it's her school holidays.

Hmm... What does that mean? Our waitress barely serviced us all night. Not that it's a bad thing; but more than hospitality at a restaurant, I prefer good food. 

Sunday passed by like a blur. Before I knew it, it was time for dinner. 

Looks good eh? Sun With Moon in Wheelock Place isn't great though. In my humble opinion, it's not worth a second visit. However they did give us $49 in food vouchers- might as well use them right? They'll be valid starting January 1st, 2012.

See, I've really been seeing a lot of Audrey!

We were actually trying to set someone up with a girl that night. Strangely, I feel too old to be part of such shenanigans. But I don't want to hide away in my own little world. I've actually been putting in more effort in hanging out with people, though I'd really rather just stay home and sleep or read a book. 

*Aaaaallllll byyyyy maaaaselffffffff.... Don't wanna be...*

And it's been raining like crazy everyday. But I guess that's to be expected in December. On a positive note, at least it's cool enough to run in the mornings. 

Here's a peek in my office. Cool right? I love that we don't wear any shoes and that there aren't any cubicles separating us. My computer is the second closest one. 

This week's gonna be a little more busy than usual, but I still love it!

There are other things that I do not love though... Let's just say that I feel tested all day, everyday. And as Talia put it, I'm afraid that I will fail. 

Sigh... 

Sometimes, just thinking the thoughts themselves already makes me feel as if I've already failed. 

It's kinda stupid but I keep worrying that the easier life gets, the further I'm going to get from God. I wonder why some Christians are persecuted, thrown into prison, while others like myself, get to lead such comfortable well-fed lives? 

The Bible tells us that the "last shall be first, and the first shall be last" (Matthew 20:16)

Maybe life is easy for me because God knows that I'm not strong enough right now to suffer like those missionaries in foreign countries. I'm having other troubles already just living day to day. What would I say if my life was on the line, and I was forced to deny Christ? Do I have enough faith? I honestly don't know. I hate imagining those kinds of situations but they still come to mind once in a while. 

People these days look at me like I'm some kind of rich girl just because I live in an expensive place. It makes me sad. I don't feel like I have anything to show off. Instead, I feel quite ashamed when I meet other people who are going through tough times. I'm not saying that I wish that upon myself, I'm not sure if I could handle it. I just wish that people would realise that being "first" in the world is really being "last" in God's eyes. 

Sigh...

Life Seems Rosy

Life seems rosy, but it's really not.

Last night, Nat and I went on a late night run to get sushi in New York City.

Had Pinkberry for dessert!

Found *gasp* Calbee crackers in the Korean supermarket.

Empire State Building looks amazing.

Laughed like maniacs at the Baby Gap mannequins in the display window.

Seriously. Could not stop laughing.

Lovely pink tulips scattered all over K-town.

Today's weather was so magnificently warm that we just had to run and play outside.

More spring blooms.

Actual insects!

The best part of today is a tie between a crazy water balloon fight after track practice and bible study in the evening.

This was the first bible study we've had in a few weeks because of various things that came up before. Although something inside me seemed to be fighting against going there today, I came out of it feeling refreshed and glad to be among other Christians again.

We talked about so many things, I can't even begin to transcribe our conversations. But one of the messages that really stood out to me was about trials and temptations. Why?

I found out why when I got back to my dorm room.

Things between my roommates and I really escalated tonight and I felt myself trembling from the great struggle I was going through. I can honestly say I've never felt this angry yet calm at the same time. While my mind sought peace, my flesh craved revenge and spite. My heart yearned for Christ but my hands were literally shaking from not typing out spiteful Facebook statuses to appease my anger.

We had another impromptu roommate meeting which, in my opinion did not start well at all. But by the end of it, I felt God just rest His peace upon my heart. My anger went away and I left humbled by the situation.

It was really quite strange. One moment I felt so overwhelmed by anger that my heart was beginning to hurt. After praying in my head to God to help me (I did this almost unconsciously... it was like my spirit prayed without any words), I suddenly saw my roommate through new eyes. I no longer hated her nor was I looking for things to accuse her with. I just wanted to soothe things over and I could feel my heart just change towards her.

So miraculous. My God is an Awesome God!

I do all this because I love You dear God. You are the only One worth living for. I can't live for myself anymore. My pride? What of it? My face? Dignity? Those things don't mean anything because they can never compare to knowing You. So what if I lose these battles? If You are with me, who can be against me? So Lord, I entrust my battles to You and I ask that Your hand will continue to be with me and upon me. Turn Your face towards me and keep me in Your favour at all times. I humble and quiet myself at Your feet. Save me from the wreck I am. Help me to remember that we fight not against flesh and blood, but against the powers and principalities of darkness. But You O Lord, who are in me, is greater than he who is in this world. Amen.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

"Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless." (James 1:26)