I'm still sick, and it seems as if the whole world is sick too. Everybody in my classes were either sneezing or coughing their heads off. I think the whole town has gotten the same cold. I didn't even practice today because I had a splitting headache and fever. Felt miserable, but I drank hot tea and took a nap under layers of warm clothes and blankets so now I feel slightly better.
I've been doing some thinking and praying today.
August was the start of all my troubles. Or so that's what I thought. But really they started a long time ago. And now I feel as if they are all crashing on me once more, this time on a different scale.
You'd think that I'd be a goner by now, alcoholic, depressed, party animal, you know, the usual...
But I'm not.
I'm still here standing under God's wings.
Flood waters are rising and winds are lashing at my feet, but I am still under his circle of protection.
It's amazing!
Somehow I've been given the strength to carry on. You have no idea how hard it is to just get up in the morning, then to run, then to go off to school... It takes a tremendous amount of mental effort for me just to put on my shoes. Recently I just haven't been feeling like myself at all.
But today I went to church, prayed once more and I heard His voice again.
Things will be alright. Hold fast, hold strong. The fight is not over, there is a long ways to go, but things will be fine in the end!!!
I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but I refuse to feel miserable like this. I still have so many things going for me... A roof over my head, a bed to sleep in at night...
I need to love myself and my life again, because God loves me!
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