01:30

There is a small root of unforgiveness growing in me and I can't seem to get over it.

I know this is not a good situation.

Words that have been said cannot be unsaid and actions that have taken place cannot be retracted. Oh how I wish we were all five years old again! Why do things get so tangled and complicated?

How do you forgive a person who hates you? How do you love a person who hates you but still smiles at you and puts on an act? How can one love when the other still deliberately does and says things to hurt you?

I can only lean on Christ's love.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never endure to an end. They are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness!

I think about how Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. We love because He first loved us!

Yet somehow when it comes down to it, doing is so much harder than saying.

I don't know what to do Lord. I have no more strength left in this, no idea how to continue. Would you please step in and fill my heart with Your wisdom? Because as heaven is higher than earth, so are Your ways higher than the ways of men. May this root of bitterness and unforgiveness be removed and in place, may my heart be filled with the love and peace of the Holy Spirit. Without You I can do nothing. Without love I am only a resounding cymbal. Without love I am nothing.

I really don't know how things are going to turn out a month or two down the road, but I trust that if I stay in the Lord, He will work miracles in my life. He will make springs and rivers flow where there were once deserts and parched land.

There is only one thing left for me to hang on- Jesus... and I will not let go at all costs.