Love Your Enemies

For the past week, we've been having practice at 07:15 in the morning in addition to our afternoon practices. As a result, I missed my class on Wednesday because I was too tired and accidentally napped for three hours straight.

My right foot looks horrible now. I pulled the nail out on Tuesday and have been nail-less ever since. Oh well... I have no one to impress anyway.

Well my foot's not the only one that's been under attack recently. It seems as if every day of this week, there's always been a misunderstanding to test my patience. Because of those misunderstandings, a few people have turned against me and it's really driving me crazy that they don't even want to hear me out or forgive me.

It makes me angry to think that I am actually seeking their forgiveness when I've done nothing wrong to begin with! And the only reason why I'm even apologising is because I don't want bad air between us.

The worst part is, this itchy mouth of mine keeps feeling the need to justify myself with other people. It's like I want everybody else to know that I'm not in the wrong; and that obviously makes me look like an idiot even more.

This morning I got so fed up after practice that I just went back to my room and cried. I hate feeling this way. God says to "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." (Luke 6:27-28) But deep in my guts I am wrenching in fits of rage.

I simply can't do it alone.

It may be easy to control my outward actions, but as for the thoughts of my heart and the words that come from the wellspring of my heart, those are the most telling signs that all is not right deep inside.

Even worse, because everybody knows that I'm Christian, they're all looking to see how I would react to situations. I don't want to be a stumbling block to anybody because of my words! Then I'd just be a hypocrite preaching what I do not practice.

And through it all, God is whispering to me... Love your enemies...

Last night I attended C.L.I.M.B. (young adults' bible study) through Skype and the topic was... surprise surprise, loving your enemies! Not only that, but I've been putting up Bible verses on our dorm fridge daily and yesterday's verse was from Luke 6:27-28 as well! Interestingly, before the bulk of those bad incidents happened, I was standing by the track and my friend kept nudging me on the side to irritate me. I just ignored him and didn't even look at him. And as he kept nudging me, he kept saying "turn the other cheek, turn the other cheek" while laughing. Now when I think about it, it's really like a moment of premonition... A warning sign that I should remember to "turn the other cheek".

Who knows what is going to happen next? But I am grateful nonetheless for God's lessons in love and patience. I know that all these things are happening to refine my spirit, as long as I remain in His Word and put it to practice.

If I ever wanted to shine for God, this is the time to do it!

Thank You Lord for answering my prayers... May Your hand be upon me in Jesus' name, Amen!