Okay I would've blogged before but Blogger seemed to have some problems so I didn't.
Between then and now, some thoughts have flown away.
But it's okay, I've got new ones.
It's now two hours past midnight and I'd finally put away all the stuff that I brought home from the school dorms. You know, it amazes me how I managed to accumulate so many things again after throwing out so much last year. Clothes, books, shoes, miscellaneous clutter like papers and keychains... My shelves look overloaded and I don't like it.
While I feel like throwing a whole bunch of things out again, I have a feeling that empty-looking shelves will only serve as an enticement to hoard.
Maybe it's the effect of springtime.
Each spring, I feel like either cutting my hair or throwing things away. While I've successfully resisted the first urge, the second is still lurking in the back of my head.
Back in 2009, I still remember being in a total "simple living" state of mind. I really felt that I did not need to use soap on a daily basis, that I could do with wearing the same pair of jeans all year and not wear heels for the rest of my life. My closet was empty and spacious enough to sit in. Yet over the past two years, especially summer of 2010, I realised that this wasn't a realistic way for me to live if I were to be considerate of people around me, especially my family. So I started bathing more often. Then I started using conditioner again. I replaced a large chunk of my wardrobe that summer and wore heels again. All this because I didn't want my family members to be ashamed of me in public. I wanted them to be proud of who I was becoming, a young lady of 21- not some frazzled hippie cat lady with nothing much to say besides "everything is meaningless" and "Jesus loves you".
Okay, not really, but you get the picture.
But now I'm starting to think that perhaps I've bent over too much for others with regards to this.
Because inside, I really am a hippie cat lady with nothing much to say besides "everything is meaningless" and "Jesus loves you".
I feel like those two statements pretty much answer every question that's ever asked of me.
Like, "what do you want to eat today?"
Reply: "Doesn't matter. Everything is meaningless."
"Uh, okay but you need to eat something."
"Well, that's true. Jesus loves you."
See?
Or:
"What did you do today?"
"Whatever I did today was meaningless."
"Aww, come on, I'm sure you did something that contributed to the world today!"
"Maybe, which brings me to my next point- Jesus loves you."
Yeah!
And this is how I unmake friends......
Speaking of which, we had a great sermon in church today about being persecuted for Christ. It was, as usual, exactly the reminder I'd needed.
Being persecuted for Christ means that people in this world are going to look at you and make fun of you because of Christ. They are going to stop hanging out with you or start excluding you because you make them feel uncomfortable. They may call you a "goody-two-shoes", a "holier-than-thou" hypocrite, a "Jesus freak" and all those other culturally-negative names, but it shouldn't stop us from continuing our ministry.
This isn't a popularity game. It's not the one with the most friends who wins, but the one who lives for Christ despite the hardship who wins a place in the kingdom of God.
How good to hear this message today!
I was reminded once again that I need to stop focusing on gaining people's approval but rather to focus on gaining God's approval.
No matter what, God doesn't change and I shouldn't change as well even if those around me start changing in the way they treat me.
3 comments:
haha wat cat lady? Thats me man... At least u wear bikinis.. U're a hottie.. I dun wear heels, even for work :P One can still look good with flats... heels for special events!
hello mindy! :) while it is good for you to be aware of the materialism and consummerism around you and do your best not to conform to it, do not forget that God also created us to enjoy Him and what He has given us. And though things are meaningless, but because you ahve God, it becomes meaningful. So when people ask you what did you do that was meaningful, shouldn't you respond by spending time with God/ oraising God etc. rather than saying everything is meaningless? Ultimately, true meaning is in God ma :) so show them the difference between your full and abundant life and their supposed active and fulfilling life. don't become like a Buddhist who rejects all pleasure and treat them as evil. God created a beautiful world, and it is for ours to enjoy while walking close to Him, the Creator, and thanking Him for it. though yes, our focus shouldn't be on enjoyment, but God. yup... hope you find the balance soon! :)
Talia, thanks for the random compliments but I don't think "wearing bikinis" is a qualification for "hotness" haha!
Eileen, I am not like that in real life, don't worry... Haha... I'm just saying that in my head sometimes that's how I think :P But you're right, we do have meaning and purpose in our lives now that Christ is in our lives :)
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