Be Quiet

Today was a slight improvement, in terms of holding my tongue- or so I thought. 

When my dad came to pick me up from work to go for a run, we got into this heated debate about whether or not internships are necessary after graduation from college. Thing is, I hardly ever disagree with my dad when it comes to life topics. I always look up to his opinions because he's been around way longer than I have, and he usually turns out to be right! However, during today's conversation, I just couldn't bring myself to agree with him. 

It got me really frustrated after a while. 

I texted Talia about it to vent a little bit (sorry about that randomness haha), but right in the middle of my texting, I suddenly remembered what I blogged about last night. 

Patience. 

Humility.

Sigh.

Well, the good thing is that we never brought the conversation far enough for it to become a debate or even an argument. Yet I was quite disturbed by how much it bothered me. 

It really is true that when you set your heart to do God's will, the devil is always right there tempting you! 

Anyways, this week sure is rolling by fast. This Thursday I'll be attending the Penn Olson's Asian Startup Conference for work. The last conference I attended was the Eastern Economic Conference in 2010 and that was one of the most boring things I've ever been to. Hope this Thursday and Friday will be very different affair!

Don't Speak

I've been thinking... 

Sometimes it's easy to feel like you're being judged too quickly. 

These are some examples of what people who hardly know me have said to me recently (if you recognise any of these are your own words, please don't be offended, because I wasn't, and I'm not naming names! So it may not be you...)

"oh, you must not know what it's like in America"

"oh, you must not know where Marine Parade is 'cause you sound ang moh"

"yeah your parents give you a huge allowance right?"

"you must club a lot"

"you're still young, you need to date some people first and get more experience before making decisions"

......

There's always this overwhelming urge to justify myself. Sometimes, I get real fired up in conversations with other people who assume I have no knowledge about what they're talking about. Inside, I'm burning to say: "you idiot, I've been doing that way longer than you! I've experienced it firsthand and you have no idea what you're talking about!" 

Always always, that desire to prove that I am RIGHT and they are WRONG. To show that I am KNOWLEDGEABLE and they are IGNORANT. 

I think my pride has been getting out of hand recently. 

I find myself speaking out of place, at the wrong time. Butting into overheard conversations, offering unwelcome advice and barging into business not my own. 

Isn't it I, whose been the one judging prematurely this whole time? Does it not take one judgmental person to know another?

James 3:8 says "but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." How true a description this has been of my tongue recently!

Dear God, I pray that You will tame this restless evil in my mouth. As a human being, I am not capable of controlling my tongue, let alone my thoughts! So I pray that whatever I think, speak or do will be brought under Your supreme authority. That everything that comes forth from this vessel (my body) will be a blessing to others, edifying and loving in every way. Give me more grace! Give me a spirit of patience, humility, kindness and love. I lay myself low before Your throne O God! If there is any prideful way in me, I ask that You will tear it down, never to be built up again. May I count as loss all things, but boast in Christ alone! Help me to remember that nothing in this short life really matters except doing Your will. Let nothing affect my gaze except to lavish it on Your face dear Jesus! In Your name, Amen.