Dumplings & Listening to God

My dear mummy made an extra tub of filling and gave it to me to make dumplings with while away at school.

I made around forty pieces and froze the ones I didn't have for dinner.

This sounds weird but I realised that I didn't have dark vinegar but I really wanted something sour to go with the dumplings. So I mixed a tablespoon of pickle sauce from the pickle jar with soy sauce and added ginger. It was sour alright, but still nothing tastes better than the original dark vinegar. In any case, I don't think I'll be making that odd concoction again...



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So yesterday was a pretty tough day for me spiritually.

Without delving into useless details, I'll just say that things weren't going so well with my roommate and I felt unfairly treated as a result.

Naturally, my first thought was to react negatively towards her. As in, repaying her evil with evil.

But the Holy Spirit put such tremendous pressure on my heart that I found myself unwilling to antagonise her in return. It was as if my very flesh were struggling against the Holy Spirit.

I wanted so badly to do something, or at least say something to justify myself in her eyes, but God kept holding me back and telling me "No. Don't react. Not now, not this way."

I kept praying and singing praises to God in my heart, wishing the conflict to leave me and for my anger to dissipate, but it took about half the day of awkward silences before I finally calmed down.

Then I asked God for the wisdom to talk to my roommate without sounding condescending or angry, trying to justify myself or anybody. I was so nervous opening my mouth but God gave me strength and what I ended up saying was even better than what I had planned. God's ways are indeed higher than mine!

My roommate flatly told me that she didn't think that a conflict existed in the first place and my spirits sunk for a moment. Did I overreact in my mind? But know what I felt, and I recognise when situations aren't well, when silences aren't comfortable. And it certainly wasn't the same comfortable atmosphere that existed before.

It's much better now, even though she's still acting strange, but I have peace in my heart.

If we Christians have such a tough time dealing with life, imagine what it must be like for non-Christians! Well, no need to imagine... I still remember clearly what it was like. It was like living in a bitter black box, hating, lusting, sinking into depravity, wanting to leave and not being able to, loving what was destroying me.

I tell myself not to take things personally and to focus on God's bigger picture because it reminds me that we have a purpose and hope. We're to spread the gospel on His behalf, to shine His light in this world. Not to condemn and hate others, but to be patient and love them as Christ is patient and loves us.

Oh but it seems sooooo hard sometimes!

I couldn't have done it without the Holy Spirit's direction.

The road to heaven is indeed narrow and hard to find, and the road to destruction wide and popular.