Once Fallen

HELLO.

I am back from camp this weekend with my Christian brothers and sisters and all of a sudden, it just seems so quiet...

We spent a whole weekend camping, fishing and hiking out by Lake Roy and on top of that, we got to learn more about spiritual warfare from Jay's sermons. It was pretty cool to sit outdoors and have church service by the waterfall instead of in a building. Definitely an experience I will remember for a long time!

Jay said that we should look out for the devil's snares after we leave camp... or something along those lines, I don't quite recall his exact words. That we should pray about it and ask God to go before us instead of just falling into a trap and then asking God to rescue us.

There I was, sitting by the fire, thinking to myself: "oh yeah I got it all handled". Then today rolls along and I fell into a trap BIG TIME.

Not only that, but it was a situation that I thought I had overcome for sure.

Today proved otherwise.

I am so mad and angry at myself for having fallen again. Am I retarded? Do I not know any better? Have I not been rescued and redeemed out of this shady hole by the one true Saviour already?

I just feel so disgusted and stupid and idiotic for having fallen for the devil's trap once more. I am just sick and tired of this. Can I just be done with this once and for all?

Dear Lord, here I am sitting in this dark hole, asking You to reach out and take hold of me again. I cannot do this alone. I cannot endeavour to be a better person without Your power. Without You there is no power in my words and actions. Wash my hands again and purify my heart! Take away this guilt and shame and put in me a renewed spirit of victory. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.