It's Saturday night and I am squatting here in the hallway because it's the only place in the house with Internet access right now. To be honest, this no-Internet-in-my-room thing is kind of working out well because that means I won't stay up late to watch Korean dramas in bed. However, that also means one less way of unwinding at the end of a busy day. Among bubble tea and other little comforts, korean dramas, spicy Calbee chips and a carton of Vitasoy are definitely at the top of my "unwinding list". 

Last night, I had zero fun at Avalon. The whole entire time I was there, I felt really disgusted with everything but still had to put on a smiling face. Yes, it was for work and stuff. But by the end of the night, I was starting to question if it was really worth it at all. The meeting went well and I accomplished all that I was supposed to, however I went home feeling very dirty and grossed out. Though I didn't drink (I had one polite shot at the end of the night), I felt like I reeked of alcohol. And I just felt so depressed looking at everyone else acting happy but feeling empty. And I know how they feel because I was once a part of this world...... 

Sigh...

I guess this is the reason why I didn't really want to do anything with the entertainment/media/marketing industry in the first place. 

But Talia made a good point today- you can't avoid it. It's in accounting, finance, etc. In every industry, much networking actually takes place in bars or clubs after work. 

But my question is: Is that necessary?

What about networking over healthy activities like sports or having dinner together? 

I don't know. 

I am just glad that God gave me the clarity of mind and self-control last night to not be rude or idiotic, because I definitely had many opportunities to act that way. 

But for now I feel spiritually drained. Like pit bottom, hollow, empty, tired. 

I need rest. And prayer... 

God help me to live a life worthy of You. Give me the strength to finish the race. Help me not to look back after putting my hand on the plow, but to turn my eyes on You, Jesus, at all times. I will trust in Your Word and listen to Your commands. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.