Old-Fashioned Shopping

Today, I went shopping at Bugis for some clothes to wear in the coming days that I'll be volunteering at my old primary school. Needless to say, I was looking for modest, unrevealing clothes. My quest took me upstairs, downstairs and everywhere for a good three hours- and during this time, I noticed something rather alarming.

First of all, I am elated that long dresses and skirts are actually not fashion faux pas these days. However, when I mentioned to a few shopkeepers that I was looking for skirts that covered my bottom and tops that weren't too revealing, I was promptly told that I was a bit "old-fashioned" and "too modest for my age".

???!?

Am I missing something here?

Most ironically, the shopkeepers who made these comments were actually older aunties in their 40s to 60s. In all my life, I have never had older women suggest that I uncover more of myself to look attractive. In fact, they usually advocate quite the opposite. 

I don't know if they were simply trying to make a sale, or they were actually being serious. But since more than one lady told me this, I am compelled to think that they were indeed being serious. At one shop, as I slipped a dress over my head to try it on, it was clear that the front was absolutely too low-cut. When I pointed it out, the shopkeeper aunty then screwed up her nose and said, "你太保守了“. I was shocked when she said that because the dress would obviously leave my bra exposed by a lot. How on earth would wearing that be anything short of scandalous?

Anyhow, at the risk of being a stick-in-the-mud, I still refuse to hang myself out like a piece of meat to be ogled at in the streets. Let the other girls attract all that attention if they really enjoy it. I don't. You never know who's a pervert and who's not in public. You don't know what's going through those men's heads on the MRT or at the bus-stop. There are lots of sick sick sick people out there and exposing anything unnecessarily can only be detrimental to your safety. 

And you know what else? Just the feeling of a stranger's eyes digging into your uncovered flesh is akin to being subjected to rape. In his mind, you are a sexual object. You are no longer a person with any shred of dignity left in his eyes. Just an object of lust. Doesn't that make you feel violated in any way? Why would you aid total strangers in those kinds of sick perverted thoughts? 

Sigh... 

I'm not saying that all women should wear burkas and only expose their eyes... 

But ultimately, who are you dressing to please?

I am still asking myself this question daily... I still feel as though I have a long way to go. Right now it feels as though I'm learning a whole new language- a new language of clothes. Holy Spirit, please help me in this confusing yet freeing endeavor!