Old-Fashioned Shopping

Today, I went shopping at Bugis for some clothes to wear in the coming days that I'll be volunteering at my old primary school. Needless to say, I was looking for modest, unrevealing clothes. My quest took me upstairs, downstairs and everywhere for a good three hours- and during this time, I noticed something rather alarming.

First of all, I am elated that long dresses and skirts are actually not fashion faux pas these days. However, when I mentioned to a few shopkeepers that I was looking for skirts that covered my bottom and tops that weren't too revealing, I was promptly told that I was a bit "old-fashioned" and "too modest for my age".

???!?

Am I missing something here?

Most ironically, the shopkeepers who made these comments were actually older aunties in their 40s to 60s. In all my life, I have never had older women suggest that I uncover more of myself to look attractive. In fact, they usually advocate quite the opposite. 

I don't know if they were simply trying to make a sale, or they were actually being serious. But since more than one lady told me this, I am compelled to think that they were indeed being serious. At one shop, as I slipped a dress over my head to try it on, it was clear that the front was absolutely too low-cut. When I pointed it out, the shopkeeper aunty then screwed up her nose and said, "你太保守了“. I was shocked when she said that because the dress would obviously leave my bra exposed by a lot. How on earth would wearing that be anything short of scandalous?

Anyhow, at the risk of being a stick-in-the-mud, I still refuse to hang myself out like a piece of meat to be ogled at in the streets. Let the other girls attract all that attention if they really enjoy it. I don't. You never know who's a pervert and who's not in public. You don't know what's going through those men's heads on the MRT or at the bus-stop. There are lots of sick sick sick people out there and exposing anything unnecessarily can only be detrimental to your safety. 

And you know what else? Just the feeling of a stranger's eyes digging into your uncovered flesh is akin to being subjected to rape. In his mind, you are a sexual object. You are no longer a person with any shred of dignity left in his eyes. Just an object of lust. Doesn't that make you feel violated in any way? Why would you aid total strangers in those kinds of sick perverted thoughts? 

Sigh... 

I'm not saying that all women should wear burkas and only expose their eyes... 

But ultimately, who are you dressing to please?

I am still asking myself this question daily... I still feel as though I have a long way to go. Right now it feels as though I'm learning a whole new language- a new language of clothes. Holy Spirit, please help me in this confusing yet freeing endeavor! 

Modesty Is The Best Policy

Starting about two months ago, I started thinking hard about the way I dress. When I scrolled through my pictures on Facebook, I began to notice skirts that were too short, shirts too low or just outfits that were plain suggestive. I'd like to say that I am this awesome person who never judges other people at first glance, but unfortunately that would be a lie. I judge people all the time. I make efforts to have these judgmental thoughts flee, but they still surface once in a while- whether unconsciously or not. God knows I need His help to overcome this terrible temptation! But when God turned my own judgmental eyes upon my outfits, it was like a light was suddenly switched on. 

I've always hated covering up my body. I like my feet aired out in flipflops even in the wintertime (or better yet, barefoot). I've always feel restricted by clothing and never saw them as a means of protection from lusting eyes or a means to respect my body. 

Not until recently that is......

So I've been ruminating on this virtue called modesty, and began to think of it not just in terms of the way I dress, but also the things I talk and think about. Do I think modest thoughts that are appropriate and fitting and do I act modestly, with discretion? 

When I think about modesty, the word humility also comes to mind. One cannot be modest without being humble. Often when I am fighting the urge to dress inappropriately, I find that the number one reason is often pride in a particular body part. It may not even be an issue of over-exposure. Sometimes, even putting on too much makeup seems (to me at least) a result of excessive pride. 

I know this may not make sense to most people, even some of my fellow Christians, but I want to ask you something: 

Are you causing someone else to stumble because of the way you dress?

The reason why I'm asking you, is because I am asking myself this daily now. 

In Luke 17:1-3, "Jesus said to his disciples: 'Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves.'"

See I've thought about the excuse before that if other people sin because of the way I dress, they just lack self-control and that's their fault. Why should I watch what I wear just because men and women can't control their eyes and thoughts? 

But after reading Luke 17:1-3, I felt the Holy Spirit was saying, "Hey if you really loved people the way I want you to love them, you would be concerned about temptations that came their way- and you would care enough to NOT want to be a stumbling block that causes them to fall!"

Everyday is still a struggle, because I'm so used to dressing the way I've always dressed for the most part of my life. But now that Jesus has set me free by opening my eyes, I will hang onto His Word and follow it to true freedom- that is the freedom to live as a redeemed child of God!