24 Weeks Or 6 Months

As of now, I can only fit into two bras, a few shirts, one pair of shorts, two pairs of jeans, about four dresses and that's about it. Dressing for work is a pain (no thanks to ASOS for the shipment that went missing), but casual dressing around the house is great. I'd just slip into Jerry's t-shirt and boxers.

Though I'm a little apprehensive about shopping on ASOS again, I don't feel like I have many other choices. My fruitless searches on Gumtree for secondhand clothing have left me feeling frustrated. Why isn't there anyone out there who wears a UK size 8? Also, I've been hunting around in H&M, Forever 21, etc, hoping to find some stretchy dresses. To my dismay, I found that this shopping season is just not pro-pregnancy at all. The waistline is fashionably placed right in the middle now (where I'm expanding). Stretchy or jersey materials are not the rage and ultimately, I just need something a little more dressy for work. I don't need another casual maxi dress! Maternity shops here offer only expensive clothes and my other dilemma is having to find something that can fit my 5'9" long body. Let me just say, it ain't easy even on ASOS.

On Sunday evening, Jerry and I dropped by the Mothercare store in Harbourfront Centre to officially check out baby things we'll be buying in the months to come. But what I really enjoyed was witnessing Jerry's growing excitement as we went from aisle to aisle. We finally left the store with no purchases but this priceless statement from Jerry: "I think we are going to have a lot of fun with our kid". My sentiments exactly :)

So, I spent some time today on Gumtree looking around for secondhand cots and strollers. I was initially thinking of buying brand new stuff. But when I think about my dad and his habit of using secondhand furniture, I can't help but feel like it's a big waste of money to buy something straight out of the store, especially if we will only be using it for a short while. Babies do outgrow their things very quickly! I'm also determined to save as much money as we can. Who knows what may come in the future? Working in Prudential has definitely made me want to be more prudent in my life.

Oh yes, last night, baby did something really weird. He usually kicks around a little more at night when I'm about to fall asleep. But yesterday, he did this super fast back and forth kicking that made me freak out a little. I had no idea he could move so quickly at this age! Perhaps it was the DDR earlier in the evening that inspired him. Speaking of which, playing DDR this weekend gave me such a great mental boost again. I LOVE being able to sweat and feel happy hormones flooding my brain.

I also did some skating... 

Shhh.... :P

Hung out with some friends... I had a really good time :) Socialising feels soooo great!

Oh baby I really cannot wait till you come out and start skating with us HAHA! Since Eito Yasutoko said his son started skating at age one, I figure you'll be fine starting at eleven months eh? Just kidding... Can't wait to see your cute little face soon.

Oh yes I had a little panicky thought last night. I started thinking about the actual labor process and the pain that would ensue and it made me really anxious all of a sudden. I've actually been pretty calm and cool about it until recently when EVERYBODY keeps asking me if I'm going to do a cesarean or get an epidural. The response from all my supportive friends are uniform when I tell them I'm going au naturel: "ARE YOU CRAZY?! IT'S GONNA HURT LIKE HELL!"

Well for someone who's never been to hell, it's easy to brush them off at first. But you know, I can't help but think: what if I can't handle it? I don't want to faint from the pain or have to do anything drastic!

All this just goes to show- I should just stop discussing the labor process with people. I haven't heard a single "you're gonna be fine" throughout all these discussions. It's making me anxious for no reason and that's it!

Modesty Is The Best Policy

Starting about two months ago, I started thinking hard about the way I dress. When I scrolled through my pictures on Facebook, I began to notice skirts that were too short, shirts too low or just outfits that were plain suggestive. I'd like to say that I am this awesome person who never judges other people at first glance, but unfortunately that would be a lie. I judge people all the time. I make efforts to have these judgmental thoughts flee, but they still surface once in a while- whether unconsciously or not. God knows I need His help to overcome this terrible temptation! But when God turned my own judgmental eyes upon my outfits, it was like a light was suddenly switched on. 

I've always hated covering up my body. I like my feet aired out in flipflops even in the wintertime (or better yet, barefoot). I've always feel restricted by clothing and never saw them as a means of protection from lusting eyes or a means to respect my body. 

Not until recently that is......

So I've been ruminating on this virtue called modesty, and began to think of it not just in terms of the way I dress, but also the things I talk and think about. Do I think modest thoughts that are appropriate and fitting and do I act modestly, with discretion? 

When I think about modesty, the word humility also comes to mind. One cannot be modest without being humble. Often when I am fighting the urge to dress inappropriately, I find that the number one reason is often pride in a particular body part. It may not even be an issue of over-exposure. Sometimes, even putting on too much makeup seems (to me at least) a result of excessive pride. 

I know this may not make sense to most people, even some of my fellow Christians, but I want to ask you something: 

Are you causing someone else to stumble because of the way you dress?

The reason why I'm asking you, is because I am asking myself this daily now. 

In Luke 17:1-3, "Jesus said to his disciples: 'Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves.'"

See I've thought about the excuse before that if other people sin because of the way I dress, they just lack self-control and that's their fault. Why should I watch what I wear just because men and women can't control their eyes and thoughts? 

But after reading Luke 17:1-3, I felt the Holy Spirit was saying, "Hey if you really loved people the way I want you to love them, you would be concerned about temptations that came their way- and you would care enough to NOT want to be a stumbling block that causes them to fall!"

Everyday is still a struggle, because I'm so used to dressing the way I've always dressed for the most part of my life. But now that Jesus has set me free by opening my eyes, I will hang onto His Word and follow it to true freedom- that is the freedom to live as a redeemed child of God!