36 Weeks & Stuff

Photo credit: my wonderful husband :) 

I'm smiling in the photo, but there aren't many things to smile about. A few things have been going on lately. First of all, Chinese New Year came and went. I didn't visit any of Jerry's relatives this year due to some last minute circumstances but I did get to spend some time visiting my immediate family. It was a long and exhausting weekend.

On Saturday, Jerry's dad was sent to the hospital for a bout of severe coughing that left him breathless. He ended up in the isolation ward for a suspected case of tuberculosis (TB). Unfortunately, he was tested positive. He came home last night and is on medical leave for some time.

The thing that bugs me though is that neither of Jerry's parents seem to be aware of their surroundings... Nobody's wearing face masks and they are coughing and sneezing openly everywhere without covering their mouths. I'm also worried that his dad will skip his medications since he has a habit of doing so. You're NOT supposed to skip any medication during the six months recovery period. It's left me feeling confined to the bedroom. I'm worried that either Jerry's going to catch the disease and pass it to me, or our baby will arrive and be infected soon after. I suddenly feel at a lost as to whether we should continue living in this house or if we should just move out as soon as possible. All my happy baby prepping mood just got dampened REAL fast!

I seriously never saw this coming...

To top it up, Jerry's mom has been acting erratically and doing things she shouldn't be doing. It's left the whole family feeling very worried and upset. Well, except for Jerry who has a lot of faith that God will take care of his mom in the matters we cannot control. But me? I'm struggling with it daily. I go back and forth between feeling angry (why is she still so irresponsible at this age?) and feeling compassionate (God loves her and I should pray for her). It's mentally draining and I even find myself wanting to vent on poor Jerry when he comes home, all tired from work.

I long for peace.

A peace of mind, a reassurance that everything is going to be okay. It is the most precious thing that I could hold on to right now. 

On Sunday in church, we read this verse from John 14:27. It says "My peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, do not be afraid."

Despite everything that is going on, God wants me to not let my heart be disturbed by my circumstances, but to trust Him and to rest in His peace. Honestly, this is easier said than done! But what can I do? He has never failed me...