My Funeral

I'm feeling especially sore for Washington today.

It is SO BEAUTIFUL outside right now!

I know to many of you, 12 Celsius may still seem cold; but keep in mind that I've been living in sub zero temperatures for over a month now. 12 Celsius today feels pretty warm to me!

The sun is shining...

Though today in church I felt as though God was holding something back from me, I trust that he has a reason for doing so. I'm excited to see what's new in his plan for me.

As for today, it's been wonderful except for the same bouts of weirdness that I think Eileen probably gets as I do. It's not depression or sadness as she describes, but just a sort of strange... I don't know. All I can say is that it's not ecstasy.

I spent the whole day yesterday thinking, thinking and thinking hard. I had revelations every few minutes or so. It was exhausting! Then I went to the movies with TJ and watched "He's Just Not That Into You". I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed "50 First Dates", but not as much as I enjoyed "Children of Huang Shi" if you know what I mean.

I liked that the movie had a lot of common sense in it but there were other things that made me sad.

I don't want to say what because it may offend some people (and I'm done with offending people), but I'd watch the movie if I were you lazing around at home with an extra 10 bucks. But really, who has an extra ten bucks these days?

This was my first visit to the movie theatre since... I don't even know when. I really enjoyed watching the movie with a theatre full of people. I'd forgotten the experience of having people laugh along with you in the funny moments, and hearing the collective sharp intake of breaths and the whispered "oh no's" during the "oh no" moments.

Absence begets appreciation.

Winter will make me love summer more and summer will make me love winter more.

There are so many things that I am excited to work on.

- Listening before speaking.

- Learning before sharing.

- Loving and giving without limits.

- Never backing down.

- A focus on excellence.

The list is endless of course. But when I get bogged down by life's demands, I always remember what I learnt in Pei Hwa.

Trust and Obey.
Honesty and Loyalty.

I sat down today as a death was announced by the pastor- and I inevitably started thinking about my funeral. At my funeral, if I ever had one (because what if everybody who knew me died before me and I was all alone in the world?) I'd like it to be a big lovely party- almost like a wedding. I want people to dance and sing and laugh. I want them to be happy for me, because death is a beautiful thing. To me at least, it is.

To be born is cause for celebration, but to die is a happier occasion because (and this is just what I believe in) the afterlife is an infinitely more beautiful place than this brief huffpuff of a miserable half-cup-full life that we have.

So.

When I die, somebody please bring out the champagne, cheesecake, summer dresses, palm trees, beef burgers and smiles because I hope you care enough to be happy for me.

P.S.

I can talk about my funeral without sounding suicidal right?