Classes start tomorrow but I'm already feeling the pressure.
I really want to do well this semester but just a glance at my class schedule is making me very unhappy. One of the classes, Contemporary Legal Issues, sounds like an absolute bore. I am not looking forward to arguing about morality and things like that because it's not set in stone. Worst of all, without a Christian bibilical foundation, the topic of morality becomes a free-for-all. All of a sudden it becomes okay to steal because of need. It becomes okay to commit homosexual acts because of "genetic predispositions".
Also, I am really freaking out about writing my fifty page thesis because it's due in March and I AM NOWHERE NEAR HALFWAY THROUGH MY RESEARCH!
No, it's not because I procrastinated. It's because I couldn't make up my mind for the longest time about what I wanted to write about. I kept switching topics because at some point, they all lose interest and meaning for me.
But after talking to my dad, I realised that I need some sort of consistency. Even though I'm not 100% in love with any of the topics I chose, I still have to stick with one.
Now, thanks to my fickle-mindedness, finishing the thesis requires nothing short of a miracle.
I can only pray and buckle down for a rollercoaster ride of a last semester.
School woes aside, there are also roommate troubles looming in the horizon.
This morning our third roommate moved back in and she did it in a way that made us all very uncomfortable. Without going into details, I'll just say that Alejandra and I had to spend all day in another friend's apartment to avoid confrontation.
I am not angry at our third roommate's childish behaviour. I just don't want to fall into the trap of saying or doing something that will dishonour God, but it's not easy.
It took a lot to not act like my typical self to that roommate, but I failed anyway by gossiping about her with Alejandra. The words came out like vomit and I feel utterly ashamed and dirtied by them. Such is the power of words! So much for not making it seem like a two-versus-one battle.
I know that at this point, only God can turn things around. We've tried to compromise, to be open, to be considerate, but our efforts have been repeatedly trodden and spit on. So, I just pray that You, oh Lord, will continue to put a guard on my heart and my mouth. Help me to say only constructive things that will build others up, not tear others down. Help us to gain favour with our problematic roommate so that we can live together in harmony and not try to make each other's lives miserable. Let me be Your light and lead me from temptation to be unloving at all times. Fill me with patience and understanding from the Holy Spirit. At all times may Your hand be on all I do. Amen.
Hmm.
Yesterday I had a completely honest and open talk with Tanya and I'm glad that we worked a lot of things out. A lot of unspoken tension was released and questions that needed to be answered were answered. I am just so amazed at how far we've come during the past few years. I mentioned how even a year ago, I would not have been able to talk to her face to face (or phone to phone in this case) about things that we brought up last night.
Thank God for answering my prayers about bringing our friendship to greater heights in Christ!
But to be honest, I am in no mood to be all that I should be right now.
A diligent student, a caring roommate, a relentless athlete, a helpful daughter, loving older sister, a faithful friend...
Even the thought of taking on all these roles is really tiring, so I'm going to focus on what's most important, on who I really am.
I am a child of God.
I will seek first the kingdom of God and all these shall be added unto me.
:)
I really want to do well this semester but just a glance at my class schedule is making me very unhappy. One of the classes, Contemporary Legal Issues, sounds like an absolute bore. I am not looking forward to arguing about morality and things like that because it's not set in stone. Worst of all, without a Christian bibilical foundation, the topic of morality becomes a free-for-all. All of a sudden it becomes okay to steal because of need. It becomes okay to commit homosexual acts because of "genetic predispositions".
Also, I am really freaking out about writing my fifty page thesis because it's due in March and I AM NOWHERE NEAR HALFWAY THROUGH MY RESEARCH!
No, it's not because I procrastinated. It's because I couldn't make up my mind for the longest time about what I wanted to write about. I kept switching topics because at some point, they all lose interest and meaning for me.
But after talking to my dad, I realised that I need some sort of consistency. Even though I'm not 100% in love with any of the topics I chose, I still have to stick with one.
Now, thanks to my fickle-mindedness, finishing the thesis requires nothing short of a miracle.
I can only pray and buckle down for a rollercoaster ride of a last semester.
School woes aside, there are also roommate troubles looming in the horizon.
This morning our third roommate moved back in and she did it in a way that made us all very uncomfortable. Without going into details, I'll just say that Alejandra and I had to spend all day in another friend's apartment to avoid confrontation.
I am not angry at our third roommate's childish behaviour. I just don't want to fall into the trap of saying or doing something that will dishonour God, but it's not easy.
It took a lot to not act like my typical self to that roommate, but I failed anyway by gossiping about her with Alejandra. The words came out like vomit and I feel utterly ashamed and dirtied by them. Such is the power of words! So much for not making it seem like a two-versus-one battle.
I know that at this point, only God can turn things around. We've tried to compromise, to be open, to be considerate, but our efforts have been repeatedly trodden and spit on. So, I just pray that You, oh Lord, will continue to put a guard on my heart and my mouth. Help me to say only constructive things that will build others up, not tear others down. Help us to gain favour with our problematic roommate so that we can live together in harmony and not try to make each other's lives miserable. Let me be Your light and lead me from temptation to be unloving at all times. Fill me with patience and understanding from the Holy Spirit. At all times may Your hand be on all I do. Amen.
Hmm.
Yesterday I had a completely honest and open talk with Tanya and I'm glad that we worked a lot of things out. A lot of unspoken tension was released and questions that needed to be answered were answered. I am just so amazed at how far we've come during the past few years. I mentioned how even a year ago, I would not have been able to talk to her face to face (or phone to phone in this case) about things that we brought up last night.
Thank God for answering my prayers about bringing our friendship to greater heights in Christ!
But to be honest, I am in no mood to be all that I should be right now.
A diligent student, a caring roommate, a relentless athlete, a helpful daughter, loving older sister, a faithful friend...
Even the thought of taking on all these roles is really tiring, so I'm going to focus on what's most important, on who I really am.
I am a child of God.
I will seek first the kingdom of God and all these shall be added unto me.
:)
2 comments:
Ugh, I wish you luck with your roommate situation! I know what it's like trying to deal with all of that while you have school stress, and I know how much harder it is to keep your mouth from gossiping!! It's tough.
Also, I know you'll do great on your thesis once you sit down and tackle it. Do you know when your presentation date is, approximately? Just so I can keep in mind when to take off work/school. Keep me posted on your progress! :)
Thanks :) I'm sure things will get better. I don't know yet when the date is but I'll let you know when I find out.
Post a Comment