Need To Get Right

Well, so much for blogging daily! For the past two days, it just wasn't possible.

Anyhow, not only have blue skies returned, they seem to be sticking around.

But it's still freezing outside (minus 2 Celsius and windy) so I gotta dress warm!

For the past two days, because of roommate tensions, I've had to bring my homework downstairs to my friends' dorm to study instead. Unfortunately I don't seem to be getting much done there either. Too many distractions!

Also, because I'm around people 24/7 now, I feel as if my thoughts are being slowly eroded and invaded by others. I find more and more frequently that it's harder to control my speech around people because everybody just curses nonstop! After a while my ears tend to get desensitised.

As I crawled into my sleeping bag last night, I couldn't help but feel torn from God in spirit because of some things that I had said earlier in the day. And the way I've been acting seems to resemble the old me more than the new me these past two days. What happened to the me who didn't like to get into useless heated debates? Went out the window, that's what.

I can't help but feel disgusted at all this.

Is it because I'm not driving back to Pennsylvania to attend C.L.I.M.B. Bible studies anymore? Am I giving the devil a foothold by not soaking myself in the Word on Thursday nights with the other C.L.I.M.B.ers?

And I realised that one of the things that may have also aided this backsliding is that I've been listening to a lot of secular music recently.

I just heard on the radio "how can it be that the people who get it so right, are making the biggest blunders?" Indeed I wonder. How can I experience so much of God's presence one moment and then faraway the very next day? The worst part is that when all is not right with my soul, nothing else goes well either.

Dear God, if I ever needed You, Lord it's now. I want to draw close to You again. It's Your presence that gets me through the day and the night. Without You nothing's possible. Help me to lean more into Your Word and less upon my understanding. In all my ways help me to acknowledge You so that You can make my paths straight.Your ways are higher than mine and Your thoughts higher than mine. In my weakness, lift me up with Your strength. Amen.

"The last thing I need is to be heard, but to hear what You would say. Word of God speak, would You pour down like rain?" -MercyMe