Pain In Life Is Necessary

Well.

I just got back from a rather silly day at work. All I did today was wear a nice dress and walk around with Yulia because that was my job. Not that I'm complaining; I mean, at least I'm getting paid doing nothing you know? But I just felt rather useless and I don't like feeling that way too often.

Vulnerability. Uselessness.

They're such unpleasant feelings to have. Everybody has to feel them at some point of their lives, but I seem to feel them more than most people. Why is that?

Anyway, temperatures are on the verge of dipping and I'm curious to see what running in -20 Celsius is going to feel like. Very painful I'm sure. I hope I don't fall sick. I shall take plenty of precautions such as wearing more layers than usual (I usually wear 7 layers on top and 3 layers on the bottom) and probably running in goggles or something so my eyeballs don't freeze and pop out of their sockets.

Do you know, life is mostly painful- "nasty, brutish and short" for sure. But recently I've been enjoying these "painful" moments because I know they make me stronger. Whenever physical murder or emotional stabbings occur, I tell myself that just over the hill lies relief that will feel so much more intensely great after going through some sort of pain.

And please. I'm not some sort of maniac that's flogging myself each night before I fall asleep okay.

I just feel that I often take things for granted and complain too much. It's just a waste of time and energy since life really is just one big bundle of pain with a few droplets of happiness that we can truly enjoy better if we just embrace the hardships that come with it.

I am writing long bumbling sentences again.

I've got to turn in soon since I'm working again tomorrow and running in the morning. Winter break ends Tuesday and school starts on Wednesday at 0800.

Y i p p e e .

There goes life as I know it.

P.S.

Living nights in candlelight is incredible even though it was a bit weird trying to adjust at first. Goodbye to electric bulbs for good!

P.P.S.

Laura Fygi is an amazing amazing singer. Such a sensuous voice; like waves sweeping back and forth on a lonely beach under the stars. I am in such a lovely mood right now- candlelight, this song, blankets...