Wow!
Has it really been THREE years since my last post??
Personal time has been a scarce resource, even now during the global COVID-19 pandemic when we are all locked down at home. That I could be sitting here blogging at 03:41 is a testament to my chronic insomnia and not the availability of excess personal time.
The last time we went to the gym was on February 18th. Even as the gym reopened three weeks ago, we have since cancelled our membership. I miss it terribly as it was one of the only times that I could have time to myself during the day.
Well, plenty has changed in the past three years.
For starters, I am now officially a mother of three children.
Has it really been THREE years since my last post??
Personal time has been a scarce resource, even now during the global COVID-19 pandemic when we are all locked down at home. That I could be sitting here blogging at 03:41 is a testament to my chronic insomnia and not the availability of excess personal time.
The last time we went to the gym was on February 18th. Even as the gym reopened three weeks ago, we have since cancelled our membership. I miss it terribly as it was one of the only times that I could have time to myself during the day.
Well, plenty has changed in the past three years.
For starters, I am now officially a mother of three children.
I know. It's crazy to think about.
B is 5, L is 3 and D is just a wee four months.
It's ironic that I feel like I haven't done much with my life since I've gotten married. Yet as I am typing this out, I realise that this is not true at all. In the past five years, I've moved houses seven whopping times, popped out three kids, and grew as a person (as marriage will inevitably force you to). Yet such is my insatiable nature that all of this still doesn't feel like any sort of accomplishment. I constantly wonder what else I could be doing, without appreciating the work that I have done so far. Part of me longs to be out in the working world or at least working on a business idea. The other part of me argues that I would be even more exhausted after doing that and wanting to spend quality time with my kids. I don't even have much of myself to give these days without needing to collapse into my bed or zone out to give my overactive brain some rest. Of course, there is also the third part of me that thinks that whatever I do is meaningless.
D has been such a ray of sunshine through these dark times. His vibrant smile and flirty eyes instantly bring me into a realm of puppydog love.
This love that I have for him is an odd mix of loathing for the physical labor as well as longing to soak in all that his babyhood has to offer-- sniffing his feet, hair and kissing his chubby cheeks.
If I could give myself some advice for the past two babies, I would have told myself to enjoy it as much as I could instead of always looking forward to the next stage. But of course, knowledge does not always mean action will follow... I'm only learning this now despite hearing similar advice from many other older parents because I have finally experienced it.
B is 5, L is 3 and D is just a wee four months.
It's ironic that I feel like I haven't done much with my life since I've gotten married. Yet as I am typing this out, I realise that this is not true at all. In the past five years, I've moved houses seven whopping times, popped out three kids, and grew as a person (as marriage will inevitably force you to). Yet such is my insatiable nature that all of this still doesn't feel like any sort of accomplishment. I constantly wonder what else I could be doing, without appreciating the work that I have done so far. Part of me longs to be out in the working world or at least working on a business idea. The other part of me argues that I would be even more exhausted after doing that and wanting to spend quality time with my kids. I don't even have much of myself to give these days without needing to collapse into my bed or zone out to give my overactive brain some rest. Of course, there is also the third part of me that thinks that whatever I do is meaningless.
D has been such a ray of sunshine through these dark times. His vibrant smile and flirty eyes instantly bring me into a realm of puppydog love.
If I could give myself some advice for the past two babies, I would have told myself to enjoy it as much as I could instead of always looking forward to the next stage. But of course, knowledge does not always mean action will follow... I'm only learning this now despite hearing similar advice from many other older parents because I have finally experienced it.
