Last Few Weeks Of Being 23

My birthday is coming up next week and I can't help but feel a little sad. As the years roll by and I leave my teenage years behind, I find myself wishing that time could stand still. I know youth is a gift and it doesn't last for long. Like a whisper, it comes and goes. 

I also know that someday in the future, I am going to wake up and realise that I needed to sleep at 9pm not 3am. My bones are going to feel more brittle and my muscles- less responsive. 

Almost all my hobbies involve raising my heart rate to a racing bpm, which is why I dread the day my body fails on me. 

I look at all these young kids around me doing things I wish my fifteen year old body were still around to do. 

So it is with such a mindset that I have been living life. 

Fast-paced. 

No space to breathe. 

Few weeks ago Shirley, two other friends and I went skating/cycling at East Coast Park.

We made it to Bedok Jetty.

And stayed out there moon-gazing for some time.

It was so beautiful, big and bright that night.

On a different day, MingXian drove us both into Johor Bahru, Malaysia. We had lunch at a wanton mee place.

Spent almost two hours grocery shopping in KSL City Mall.

Had dinner at the Bamboo restaurant.

Hung out at Danga Bay after dinner.

Poor MingXian had no choice but to be dragged onto this ride. Even though it was small, it was really fun!

Then we just took a million photos for the rest of the night.

Had a Friday night urban skate as usual to the recently-finished Marina Bay Sands hawker centre.

Met up with the Davidians for our monthly get-togethers.

Went ice-skating with the usual Friday urban crew on a separate Friday.

 

Fell while telling people to "watch out for the curve in front". 

LOL 

Attended Shan Shan's graduation ceremony.

I love graduation ceremonies. I love them even more when they're held in a church with a service and worship before and everything. 

Well, I guess this was my first graduation ceremony that was held in a church with a service and worship before and everything. 

I cried during worship. The songs we sang somehow made me think about how lucky we were with Eric's situation and how God's grace just saves us... weak sinners... I thought about our mission in life and whether I am living out that mission to bring people to Christ. 

Hmm. 

(Note to self: don't wear mascara to church services, graduation or not)

Skated around MBS (yet again) with the three amigos. 

Snacked on the night view.

Finished off with a heavy supper at 126 in Geylang.

This is only one-thirds of the food that we ordered and tried desperately to finish.

On Friday, I went prawning at Farmart with Alu.

And Annie!

Annie had quite a few firsts that morning. 

First time eating MacDonald's breakfast, first time catching a prawn and first time being at Farmart!

Nothing beats eating the prawns you caught. 

Swimming one moment, dead and cooked the next. YUMZ.

So, horrors of horrors. 

I just got back from Skateline's monthly Saturday Night Skate and it was on this fateful night that I dropped my iPhone twice and cracked its screen.

My phone looks like a rat just chewed on it now. 

T^T

The first of the birthday gifts have arrived.

A special chinese recorder-like instrument from Chuan gu & Aunty Pei Leng! 

It's too late to try it now since everybody is sleeping, but I'll probably start chirping away later this morning when I wake up for church.

Gonna be playing the piano at Sunday School later...

I don't know how to explain the rush and mix of emotions that I have right now. But one thing I know: no matter what the situation, no matter how old I am getting or how young I am feeling, my purpose in life is simply to praise God, and I have very good reasons to do so.

All my life Lord, I give it to you! I give all my energy, youth, money and time to the furthering of your kingdom. In every walk of life, I ask that you use me like a vessel to pour forth your Spirit. In every action, word or thought of mine, I pray that you reach out to those who need you most. 

Grace At The Cemetery

I just came home from a really eventful night of rollerblading. 

Tonight, I led a group of ten people on an urban night skate from Bishan MRT station, through Lornie Road past MacRitchie Reservoir, Bukit Brown Cemetery, Botanic Gardens and finally, Orchard. 

I know what you're thinking. 

Bukit Brown Cemetery? 

At night?

ARE YOU CRAZY?!

Here's the thing. 

The shortest way from Lornie Road across PIE to Adam Road is a straight line. There is no connecting bridge and it would have been pretty dangerous for us to cross that way. The safest way to cross instead, would be through Bukit Brown Cemetery and a tunnel at Kheam Hock Road under the PIE. 

That's the real reason why I chose to go through the cemetery. 

______________________________

Anyway, I was feeling rather uneasy about it during the daytime. I woke up thinking about whether it was really a good idea to take this route tonight after all. I don't like cemeteries.

I checked out the route online and the roads seemed okay- not too rough, and definitely safer than jaywalking across the PIE. 

By the time evening had swung around, my apprehension gave way to excitement and anticipation of a wonderful night skate. 

But as we set off from Bishan MRT, I found my pounding heart seeking God's help. I prayed that God would watch over every single person in our group including myself, and that He would send his angels to guard and watch over us. I asked for protection and His presence to surround us, especially in a "dirty" place like the cemetery. Then, I felt His peace rest upon me. 

______________________________

The way up Lornie Road was tiring. 

E & JH, two new skaters that I'd never met until tonight, were having a hard time keeping up with us. I didn't realise that they were unseasoned skaters and that E didn't even know how to brake confidently.

Happily, I continued on my way and led them into Bukit Brown. 

As we were about to exit the cemetery through the tunnel at Kheam Hock Rd, we came to a long slope. It started out gentle, but by the time we were halfway down, we'd picked up enough speed to make any sort of small movement dangerous. Even T-braking caused instability and so it wasn't long before one of us tripped and rolled down the slope in a dramatic way. 

I was right behind WL when he fell, but I felt so calm when I saw the whole thing happen, that I didn't freak out. I simply moved aside as he was in my way and skated down without falling. 

As I braked to a stop, I turned around so that I could check up on WL who was lying on the road. I knew in my heart that he was okay. I saw the way he rolled and rolled metres from the spot where he slid. 

It was a good way to fall.

Low-impact.

What happened next however, was something that none of us saw coming. 

Literally.

I was facing the upslope, when out from nowhere, I saw E flying at top speed towards me. He was headed straight for me and he had his arms stretched out towards me. As he drew closer, I finally understood what he'd been screaming at us the whole time: "I CAN'T BRAKE! I CAN'T BRAKE!"

Casually, I simply took a small step to my left to avoid him. 

A few seconds later, there was a loud crash and a groan. 

E had hit a cement pole on the side of the road to break his fall and he lay on the grass with blood streaming down his face. 

Everybody was stunned and there was a flurry of activity as we all rushed to make sure that he was still conscious. H was E's friend and he was cradling E's head in his hands. At this point, E seemed a bit delirious and he couldn't even remember what happened to him. He kept asking us repeatedly what happened to him. We told him he hit a pole, but he would ask us the same question again a few seconds later. I sensed that E was in shock. Somebody called an ambulance and so we waited for it. 

In the meantime, E's right arm looked broken and it lay in an awkward position above his head. He said he couldn't feel it. 

I actually worried about whether E had enough insurance to cover the ambulance fees...... 

Occupational hazard. Sigh.

As we stood there watching H almost cry over his friend E, I couldn't help but ask God: "Why? Why did you let this happen? Didn't I ask you to keep us safe Lord? Was it because I didn't pray enough? Was it because I doubted?"

I just felt like this whole accident could have been avoided had I 

- not chosen to skate this route tonight

- been more conscious about E & JH's skating abilities

- not stepped aside when E was about to hit me

As all these thoughts swirled around in my head, I suddenly realised a few things. 

Firstly, I felt so calm. I can't explain it. It was as if I were watching a slow motion movie and I had enough time to react to everything that was going on. While H was freaking out over E, my head felt so clear. I was able to remember things that I read in my First Aid book whenever I was in the toilet. 

In that calm state of mind, I thought immediately to remove E's rollerblades. I told H not to move E's arms and to keep his body straight. We used wet wipes to clean his arms and legs so that the salt from his sweat would not agitate him later. H also finally calmed down enough to stop E's facial wound from bleeding further. 

As we stood around waiting for the ambulance to arrive, I realised something else. 

Had WL not fallen earlier, most of us would not have slowed down and kept to the side of the road. We would not have been facing the upslope and therefore been unable to see E coming down at top speed. We could all have gotten into a terrible scrape involving more than just three casualties (JH fell too but sustained only superficial wounds, thank God!!!). 

I felt goosebumps when I realised all these things. 

I saw how close to death I came. 

I avoided not one, but two accidents and they were barely seconds apart. 

Nobody died. 

Somebody could have. 

______________________________

So did God answer my prayer or what?

I think He did. If not for His presence tonight, things could have been a lot worse. I felt, and still feel, that He's watching over me. Over us all. 

Despite my stubbornness in wanting to skate through a cemetery at night, God provided grace. Thank You Lord Jesus... Thank you...

January Updates

Kinda lost the motivation to blog nowadays, even though I might have the time and lots of thoughts to pen down. Half of it is due to laziness, while the other half is just due to boredom I suppose. We simply have too many mediums of communication to choose from these days!

Well there are several things that I want to talk about in this catchup/summary post. 

.............................

Firstly, about my new job. 

I'm currently working as a full-time financial consultant and my work involves meeting people, working out their financial goals as well as matching their needs with suitable insurance products. When I first started telling people that I was considering the insurance industry, I received many different reactions. Some were extremely surprised as to why a college graduate like myself would consider entering the fearsome sales industry. Others said I would be well-suited for this type of work since I am generally an outgoing person. 

I don't really have the time or space to write down all the reasons why I felt the insurance business is the ideal industry for me to be in, but one thing is for sure- with every passing day, I am loving it more and more. I feel almost as if this job was made just for me. Not only does it meet all my requirements for a fulfilling career (opportunity to impact people's lives, proper compensation, flexible hours, opportunity to grow, challenging), it's also opening my eyes to a whole new world that I've never seen. Will elaborate on that last point next time. 

Well, as much as I am enjoying my job, I am also beginning to see that it is not an easy one. In many ways, financial consultancy is a lot like farming to me. No matter what the weather is or how tired you are, you just have to be out there in the field working everyday during the sowing seasons. There is no room for excuses and even less for self-pity. The business is your own and you really do reap what you sow. Therefore, no pain no gain. 

.............................

Next, about my two main hobbies outside of work. 

My passion for skating has cooled down quite a bit since last November. I remember how I used to be so excited when Friday nights would roll around. I would enthusiastically organise the skate every week and put in effort to make sure that everyone is able to make it. Nowadays, I don't even bother to check up on who can skate Friday nights or not. Last week, I didn't even show up, well, partly because of the weather and partly because I just wasn't that fired up about it anymore. While I know that my love for skating will probably flare up again someday, I'm quite comfortable leaving my skates in the backseat for now. 

As for DDR, I'm trying my best to control my daily addiction to it and so I haven't played for the past 2 days. I think the longest I managed to go without DDR so far, with the exception of my trip to Xiamen last December, is 4 days. 

Okay the next bit may not be understood by many, but I want to record it anyway. 

This is my progress in DDR since I started on November 9th 2012... 

Week 1: Bsp 6, dsp 8, speed 1.5

Week 2: 1st AA on Rainbow Rainbow dsp

Week 3: Esp 11

Week 4: (Went to Xiamen)

Week 5: FC & AA on dsp 10 song, esp 12

Week 6: FC & AA on LoveShine esp 10

Week 7: Esp 13

Week 8: A on a bdp 6 song

Week 9: Esp 12-13 (super tiring week)

Week 10: Got Extra Stage on my own with 3 AAs and a B, also AA'ed Theory of Eternity esp 12

Week 11 (This week): B on esp 14 songs (Fire Fire & Amalgamation), passed csp 13 songs

*****Terms used:

FC: Full combo

BSP- Basic Single Player, meaning Basic level, playing only on one side of the machine

DSP- Difficult Single Player

ESP- Expert Single Player

CSP- Challenge Single Player

BDP- Basic Double Player, meaning Basic level, playing on both sides of the machine

A/AA- These are grades based on your scores. To get a AA, you must be very rhythmically accurate. Highest is a AAA (pros achieve this grade fairly easily)

My goal in DDR for the upcoming month is to be able to score at least an A on an Esp 15 song. Right now it just seems impossible. The arrows don't even make sense to my eyes, but Steven and Raymond say it's possible, so I'm hoping that they're right! Apparently the top female players in Singapore are able to get a PFC (perfect full combo, probably at least a AA) on an Esp 15 song. Man, if I can achieve that standard soon, I will be so happy! (Cue song: "I'm So Happy"... Hahaha....... Nevermind...)

Sigh.. Whoever would have thought that I'd have this strange addiction to an arcade game 2 years ago?

.............................

Alright, last but not least, my walk with God. 

If I were to be completely honest with myself, I'd say that my spiritual life has more or less taken a backseat. With all the playing, working and skating around Singapore, I've been spending less and less quality time with God. And because of that, I've been finding it more and more difficult to live a pure and blameless life. 

Take for example my mouth. I used to be more loving and kind with my words, but recently I've found that old spiteful and irritable speech popping up unconsciously again. The worst part is, I feel my heart growing immune to it! It's not even about using bad words, but more like the attitude behind my every sentence. Instead of lifting people up and encouraging them, I've been focusing more on pleasing myself. 

I know that this is displeasing to God, but somehow I just feel my heart getting so cold. 

Last Saturday at fellowship, Eileen was talking about feeling like running away from God even when you know you should run towards God instead. I could totally relate to everything she was saying since I've been feeling that way too. 

It's like you know the right thing to do, but somehow you still disobey God and you feel guilty about it. Yet instead of bringing your sins to God and asking Him for forgiveness, you feel overwhelmed by your guilt instead and try to hide from His love and grace.

It's such a struggle, and even now as I'm typing, I still feel torn... 

Dear God, You alone know what is going on inside my heart. I don't even know what to say or what to ask for anymore, but whatever it is, I just want to be close to You again. And if it takes a storm to bring me close to You, I ask that You will send the rain. Help me not to take Your love for granted, but also help me to accept Your unconditional love and forgiveness. I pray for healing in my heart, for all the many hurts that only You know I have suffered. Fill me up once again with Your Holy Spirit so that I may rest in Your peace. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. 

Anger At The News

I'm so angry right now and my heart is racing like mad. 

Though I'm supposed to be studying, I just gotta write this blog post to release my feelings. 

I just read the Wikipedia page for the recent New Delhi bus rape case that happened in December 2012. It is a much more detailed report on the entire case, with information being pulled from various news sources.

As I was reading about the atrocities that were being done, a white hot flash of anger started welling up in me and I couldn't help but just burst out in tears for the victim and her family. Just thinking about the ordeal she must have went through, and having to fight for her life and dignity afterwards is mind-boggling. The last time I felt this outraged, I was reading The Rape of Nanking and another book about the war atrocities committed by the Nazis during World War II. I remember having my sleep and appetite affected after that. All I wanted was to somehow exact revenge on every single one of those MURDERERS!

Even just now as I was reading, I thought to myself: how would those men like to have the same exact thing done to them! Death penalty is no penalty for them! They should be tortured to death instead! Make them pay!

However in the heat of my anger, I felt a gentle voice say to my heart:

Mindy, this anger you feel your heart right now, just think about how God feels towards ALL sin. He does not differentiate between a gang rape and a malicious gossip. God is HOLY, and He cannot tolerate sin because He is RIGHTEOUS and JUST. So this anger that you feel towards the gang rapists right now, imagine it magnified an infinite number of times, focused on YOU. Yes you, because you were born with sin. You were once a liar, a thief, a murderer and a slanderer. Now think about all those consequences that you imagined for the gang rapists, and think about how you actually deserve all that as well. Okay? Then, think about who Jesus came to save and how He died on the cross for ALL. Don't count yourself a "lesser sinner" than them, because that is not how God sees all men. 

.....


What can I say Lord Jesus? Your ways are higher than my ways, your thoughts higher than my thoughts, as the heavens are higher than the earth. Thank you for giving me an answer about this dilemma in my heart and for correcting my views on it. I pray and ask that You would bring healing to my heart and help me to forgive others as You have forgiven me. I thank You for dying on the cross and paying the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. If You did not die that terrible death and suffer on our behalf, we would have been lost for all eternity. Thank You Father, for providing the Lamb and for Your love that is immeasurable and incomprehensible.

Weakness

Remember that feeling of having just cleaned up your room? The floors are sparkling, books and things are put away, the dirty clothes are in the laundry where they belong and the windows are open to a gentle fresh breeze. 

However a week goes by, and a little pile of dirty clothes starts to grow in the corner like an infestation. Another week, and the floors start to feel mucky, but you don't notice it immediately. In a month, a funny stained odor hangs about the bed but you are the only one who can't smell it. 

In a way, I feel like my walk with God has come to this point. 

I've let other things distract me and cloud my vision. Fear and anxiety have crept into my thoughts and estranged me from the truth. I live with less and less conviction each passing day. 

But last night, He spoke to me. 

I did not realise I needed a major clean up until God pointed out how disgusting my room had become. I've ignored the stains for far too long and I know I cannot continuing living this way before I fall sick. To top it off, I've been shoving all these things under the carpet instead of fervently praying to God to help me. Though it's quite obvious that I cannot help myself... 

All these walls that I've built, it's time to tear them down. 

"I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron" (Isaiah 45:2) 

Dear Lord Jesus, I am so weak, there isn't a single thing I can do without you sustaining me. I pray that you will remove my false pride and strength, scrubbing clean the floors and walls of my heart. I ask that you would teach me genuine humility so that I will submit to your every Word. I praise Your name because You are the sustainer and giver of Life. Amen.

Christian Perspective Of The Presidential Debate 2012

Wow, I got on Facebook this morning and my newsfeed was literally on FIRE about the American 2012 presidential debate!

Here's the full debate for those of you who missed it:

You know I was going to blog about something else, but that will just have to wait until later, because I have a million thoughts that I've been holding back and I need to vomit them on here!

First of all, it really doesn't matter who made a better argument or who had a nicer tie. It matters even less what everyone thinks about who has the better policy and who they'll be voting for. 

Two simple reasons;

1) Neither of them can accurately predict the future 

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand" (Proverbs 19:21)

2) God is the one who ultimately decides who should be in government 

"Let everyone be subject to their governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God" (Romans 13:1)

I'll try to keep this short and simple. 

Essentially, it doesn't matter what Romney or Obama thinks is the best way to run the country because there are just too many factors that they can't control. There's just too much information and knowledge that they lack.They could talk about all the reforms or policies they want, but who knows what will happen in the future? There may be a devastating hurricane along the entire east coast next year, or some country may decide to declare war against America. Perhaps someone will come up with an extraordinary new invention that will forever change the American economy (think cars, railways, computers, etc.) Maybe one of them will die tomorrow from a heart attack, then what? 

I'm not actually wishing these things upon the nation. I'm just trying to show here how ridiculous this whole debate and our views on politics are. 

It's so naive to think that each candidate can actually steer the nation's direction like they can steer a bike. Besides, even if you can steer a bike and you're wearing a helmet and obeying all the safety rules, you can't ensure that some random drunk driver on the road won't swing into you. 

See, no matter who you vote for or support, you can't actually know for a fact that they will actually succeed in their plans until the time comes. They don't even know it themselves! 

And that is why we are urged, in 1 Timothy 1:1-2 to pray for those in authority, because God is the only person that we CAN be sure of. 

God is the best, and the only candidate fit to run any country!

He never sleeps, he sees all things, he's ever-present, he's in full control, and best of all, he actually cares for each and every single person's well-being.






"Indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep" (Psalm 121:4)

"From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind" (Psalm 33:13)

"I form the light and create darkness, I create prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things" (Isaiah 45:7)

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11)

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28) 

Imagine that! Aren't we lucky to have such a God to be in full control of our lives and our universe?

I feel the same way about Singaporean elections. 

Chen asked me today who I would vote for- Obama or Romney. I said I would blindfold myself, pick a random straw then throw it into the basket without looking at it. 

It's not a very responsible way of voting, but I believe that the true power of a Christian voter lies behind closed doors, knees to the floor. There is nothing more influential than a Daniel praying to the Almighty each day or a Moses trusting and following God's instructions. Even in his heyday, as possibly the most powerful man on earth, the Egyptian Pharaoh was taken down by a man of faith. What more an Obama, Putin or Lee Kuan Yew! 

Again, not that I necessarily want them taken down... But you get my point.

If you truly want to make your vote count, pray. Pray pray pray for those in authority, that God will grant them wisdom and discernment in all matters, that they will fear God and shun evil.

Corrinne May & Stuff

Hoho! Can't believe I actually slept at 04:30 last night. Blame it on the bubble tea at 02:00... I'm dying to sleep right now but I've got to finish this post. \\

Sadly, all pictures were taken using an iPhone instead because I left my camera at HOB over the week :/ 

Saturday evening was a magical time. I went with Annie and Rodrigo to the newly-opened Gardens By The Bay.

To watch the Corrinne May concert! 

Sadly for me, I've not listened to many of her songs besides her National Day song. Therefore, I went to this concert without any hopes or expectations.

We got to the gardens really early and were greeted by an immense throng of people. Last time I was here, the place was not completed yet and there weren't many people at all. 

Beautiful orchids were planted all around the supertrees.

With more than an hour before the concert began, we went to Cafe Crema to have dinner first. There was quite a queue inside, but we were fortunate to get a table after about ten minutes.

I love going to concerts with them!

Rodrigo ordered this really tasty looking sandwich.

He then proceeded to demonstrate how one could wolf it down with a monstrous bite. Very nice! 

Annie and I both ordered mushroom soup each, and it was THE BEST MUSHROOM SOUP EVER! 

For $8, this is definitely worth it. I've never had so many chewy and juicy mushroom bits in one bowl of soup before. This dish deserves two thumbs up. 

If I knew the soup would be so filling, I wouldn't have ordered this bacon and mushroom aglio olio as well. It tasted just like fried chinese noodles and nothing like pasta at all.

I guess Cafe Crema must have just opened since they've got many lovely flower bouquets lined up outside.

With about forty minutes to go before the concert, we wandered through the supertree grove.

Am I the only one who thinks they look kind of ugly? Ugly but impressive. Very Avatar-like. Still, I wish there were actual centuries old giant rainforest trees instead of these purple poles.

Annie gazing up to take a photo. 

We finally made it to The Meadow. 

I didn't realise it was an open air concert. Fortunately, the organisers provided everyone with plastic ponchos that we could all use to sit on the floor with.

Annie happily snapping away while I lay down on the grass beside her. Was starting to feel quite sleepy by that time.

When Corrinne started singing, I was startled to hear such a lovely sultry voice. Annie wasn't kidding when she said Corrinne sounds like a cello! Though I spent most of the concert lying on the ground with my eyes closed, I was actually listening to every song (except maybe one where I fell asleep for a bit). Her self-written songs are quite meaningful and the audience was even treated to a free show of fireworks from the NDP rehearsals in the background.

Lying there in the cool night breeze, listening to Corrinne sing about God and other things was a beautiful experience that I won't forget for some time.

And of course, how could I not go skating that night? 

While Annie and Rodrigo stayed behind to watch a free movie screening of Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, I rushed home and then to Vivocity with my skates to meet the NUS Skate Club for their annual urban skate night. Though i was never a student at NUS, I self-invited myself once I heard about this event because it sounded like so much fun! Do you know how difficult it is trying to look for skating kakis these days? 

Anyway...

It was only when I got to Vivocity that I realised that they were actually planning to skate from midnight till five in the morning!!!

Five is wayyy too late, even for a chionger like me. Besides, I had to go to House of Bread the next day. I ended up leaving halfway and got home around 02:30. 

_______________________________________________________

Last night, even though I slept so late, the time was still well spent. 

Sat in the bathroom singing some worship songs with my guitar (sound quality is best in there), read some of Eric Liddell's biography and decided to just plain spend some time with God. 

I wonder how God feels sometimes, looking at me shoving and squeezing activities into my calendar instead of being still at His feet.