These Few Nights

If you go to Kinokuniya and see this person, be sure to mess up all the books she's packing on the shelf! 

;)

Just kidding.... 

Visiting friends at work is fun, especially when you get to prank them on the job!

On Tuesday I cooked a very imperfect pot of борщ to last me the whole week. 

Many things went wrong with it. I forgot to buy beets or beetroot as they call it here, which is a main ingredient. Fortunately the missing beets didn't alter the taste of the soup much. Also, I was lazy and sliced the carrots into rounds instead of grating it. I've found that grating carrots instead of slicing them improves the taste by A LOT so that's inexcusable. Lastly, I didn't put enough cabbage in there and the soup came out more sour than usual due to the extra tomatoes. 

Not my favourite pot of борщ ever, but still passable. 

The good thing is, борщ gets better with age up to a week, so I'm really looking forward to tonight's helping. It will be the third night it's been out on the stove. 

I miss cooking daily, but in our small kitchen at home, only one person can cook there comfortably, so I try not to step on my mom's toes too often. However this week, I really have to stay home and study every night. Every hour is precious, so eating out is not really a viable option. Thus the pot of soup to last a week. 

Last night I finished three chapters and didn't hit the lights till 04:30 in the morning. 

The worst part was, even after lying in bed and closing my eyes, I couldn't really fall asleep because my brain was being overly active. It's such a terrible feeling- to feel so physically exhausted yet being unable to shut my brain up. 

That's life for now, and I know it will be my life for the next few months, but that's alright. 

I kind of missed studying anyway. 

Major Insomnia

It's now past five am on a Sunday morning and I am still awake. 

Somehow, I keep thinking about this dream that I had years and years ago... A dream about a beautiful underwater world that I made up one night. I remember feeling really sad when I woke up from that dream, and now I wish I could reenter it.

Dream... reality... dream... reality...

I just want to sleep!!! 

First Night At THRIVE

I just looked at the time...... 02:46?!?!?!

(O_o)

I've been suffering from insomnia recently both because of my unwillingness to shut my computer off and from the whole house being in a complete mess. My room is so covered and filled with clothes and stuff that I am packing- that my mind feels messed up as well.

Tonight was my first night going to THRIVE, a young adults' worship night at Keystone church near my house. There weren't a lot of kids today (supposedly they get around 200 most nights) but still a lot more than C.L.I.M.B..

I've actually always wanted to attend one of THRIVE's worship nights but I never got around to going because of one reason or another. I finally made my mind up to go today over the past weekend though. And wouldn't you know it... on Saturday, something happened that made me really not want to go to THRIVE anymore, but Becky told me that I shouldn't let that keep me away.

So I prayed and prayed and prayed about it. Even while I was driving to THRIVE, I prayed and asked God to just make things right. Not only did God answer my prayer, He also showed me why I was feeling hindered from going to THRIVE.

The reason is because when I got there, I realised that the people there seriously needed to be prayed over and I made a commitment to do that. Could it be that the devil did not want me there? I think it's a high possibility... That's why he tried to manipulate me into not going. But I am so glad that God put His will in me and I trusted Him to make things right.

I am excited to see God move powerfully again!

This walk with Jesus is getting awesomer and awesomer by the day...

But another dilemma is arising...

The pressure to find a job is building by the day. I will have to find some means of making money soon just to support myself. I can't live off my parents forever! However the more I think about possible jobs, the more I don't want to apply to any of them. Not because I've caught the lazybug of summer, but because they are all so distasteful compared to full-time ministry.

I keep thinking about how much nicer it would be to work in full-time ministry these days but I don't know how I would come up with the money to go to seminary in the meantime. I know if this is God's will, He will provide the necessary funds. However, I am still unsure as to whether this is what God wants for me or it's just what I prefer. Perhaps I really DID catch the lazybug and just don't feel like entering the workforce at all!

Whatever it is, I am going to listen for His voice.

I refuse to live a normal life when I've got Christ living in me!

Can't Sleep

How often have I said that I couldn't sleep when my eyes actually feel heavy? Yet even as I lie down, my brain is thinking of doing a million other things. Since midnight, I've been on GarageBand making up a stupid song which ended up sounding like a bad techno/ambient mix. I titled it "Surfin' All Day". Who knows, if I add my autotuned voice, it could be the next viral hit......

I guess I just really miss music. I miss listening to it constantly, playing it on my violin, piano and guitar. I miss dreaming up orchestral tunes in my head at night. I wish I had the gift of transcribing notes fluently.

Now the question remains: stay awake till tomorrow night or sleep a few hours and get up early so I don't mess up my system too much?

Mmph.