A Dream

This morning I dreamt that I rescued two baby rabbits and kept them as pets. One brown and one grey. They begged me so hard to let them go run around in the grass outside the house so I let them. The air outside was cool and fresh because of the surrounding forests. 

Suddenly I realised people were chopping the trees down and there was a commotion as people were told to move out of their houses. Panicking, I looked around for my baby rabbits but they were nowhere to be found.

I came to one of the houses where the residents were being asked to move out. To my surprise, the men doing this were a young looking version of Goh Chok Tong, Lee Kuan Yew and some indian dude who looked like an MP but I had no idea who he was. 

I was so mad that they were the ones who chopped down the trees and made our whole village feel hotter and hotter. Furthermore, why did we have to move out when life in the forested village was peaceful and nice? 

In my anger and frustration for not finding the baby rabbits, I woke up.

Dream & Boston Marathon

I had yet another disturbing dream last night, or should I say, this morning. 

I actually just woke up at 12pm. I don't know if it's the warm weather that's making me feel exceptionally drowsy or what, but for some reason I just could not get my heavy bones out of bed this morning. Maybe being on the phone with Talia till 3am played a part too.

Since 10 this morning, I kept having this dream that continued even between times when I would wake up. Upon falling back asleep, the dream would just continue where it left off. 

The gist of this dream was about me trying to prepare and escape for some sort of nationwide attack. I didn't know what the attack would be, but all I knew was that it could happen anytime, anywhere. I found myself trying to dress appropriately for a disaster when I went out, as well as looking for possible places to hide when disaster did strike. 

In my dream, the government had already warned the citizens that something was going to happen and they even provided "safety pods" which were kind of like small space ships that would be activated remotely by the government. My family was one of the lucky ones to get a safety pod designated to us because I have two little brothers. 

In my dream I was trying desperately to travel back to the safety pod's location as fast as I could while making preparations for disaster on the way there. I had this ominous feeling of impending doom you see, and I felt in my heart that time was running out. But when I got to the safety pod's location, I found out that my parents had gone on a trip to another part of the country and so I had to wait there for them to come back. 

When the sirens sounded for people everywhere to enter their safety pods, my family still did not return. People were telling me to get on the safety pods anyway but I didn't- partly because I did not trust that the government was really going to save its people via the safety pods. So, I stayed behind to try to outrun the "enemies" that were already on their way...

It was in this frame of mind that I awoke and switched my phone on, only to read about the Boston Marathon bombings. 

Ya know, in my whole life, I've always been sleeping whenever such things happen. 

When 9/11 happened, I was sleeping, thanks to the time difference between US and Singapore. When the 2004 tsunami happened, I was also sleeping. When the 2011 earthquake happened in the afternoon in the East Coast of the US, I happened to be taking a nap. 

I know the Bible tells us about the last times being times that area filled with natural disasters, wars and rumours of wars, famines, etc... And more than ever, I feel as if we are living in the last times. 

I cannot imagine how I would have handled the situation if I were a spectator or runner at the Boston Marathon. For all the people there, I can only pray that they will not live in fear from today onwards, and that their injuries will heal. For the families who have lost loved ones, I cannot imagine their pain. The suddenness of it all........ 

A Wicked Dream

I had a really disturbing dream last night. 

It started with a young lady with the supernatural ability to fly and control objects. We shall call her Sara. Each time Sara made an unconscious demonstration of her skill (she enjoyed the feeling of flying), a small crowd would gather in the void deck to watch her. 

One day, a mysterious woman (let's call her Eve) and her assistant who were travelling through the area stopped by and told Sara that she wasn't making full use of her talents.

At this point, I am seeing a small crowd around Sara as Eve is telling her this. After Eve says this to Sara, Eve reveals her own special powers- which in addition to what Sara has, is more powerful and includes mind control. 

Sara mutely accepts what Eve tells her and decides to go along with Eve's plans. In an instant, Eve changes Sara out of her common clothes into a beautiful flashy gown, as well as thick makeup. Minions/assistants appear from nowhere and they transport Sara (under Eve's direction) to a theme park which is made especially for Sara. 

I was then transported in my dream to this theme park, as if seeing it from a third person perspective. 

Hovering over a forested cliff with water cascading down into the blue ocean far below, I see a ride which appears fun at first. 

It is a strange ride, with yellow contraptions extending out from the cliff. Each person is strapped in a ski-lift type unit which follows the track downwards, eventually ending near the bottom of the tall cliff. The units swing wildly and there are minions/assistants springing "surprises" at the riders at every turn. Some are spraying powerful water jets in people's faces, others are hitting the riders with stuff, while cackling loudly. 

Although the adult and children riders are smiling and laughing, I immediately sensed that something was off. The people were obviously in pain, confused and the whole scene bordered on torture to me. By the time they stumbled onto the platform at the bottom, they all had a dazed look on their faces. 

From that scene, I was transported to the main performance hall which was the highlight of the theme park. Ushered in by minions, I sat in one of the red velvet chairs on the second row, not knowing what to expect next.

The lights come on, and a flashy choir starts to sing. My thoughts at the time were: "this is just like a pop concert, but it feels like church!" I looked at the people around me and suddenly realised that this was a church service!!! They all had devout faces around me and even the person next to me confirmed this.

After the first noisy song was over, the emcee announces the next act to an excited audience. The lights dim and the music goes quiet for a second... Then suddenly, a loud blare of music! What shocked me tremendously however was the appearance of men dressed in waiters' uniforms shaking their bum in the faces of those sitting in the first row along with the raucous music. I couldn't believe it! Everyone in the crowd was laughing and clapping along as if this was normal!

The acts got consecutively worse after that. 

The next one had completely naked girls dance on the front row while the crowd sang along with lyrics such as this:

"We gonna have fun tonight"

"Welcome the prince"

When I started actually listening to the lyrics of the "hymns" that were being sung, it suddenly dawned on me that this whole place was nothing short of satanic. 

Sure enough, after the music section was over, Eve stands up in a majestic black feathered gown to welcome Sara- the final act on stage. A crowd of women in black also stand up and I realised that they were in fact all witches and Sara has unwittingly become one of them. 

I make an escape from that place, and somehow my dad comes to pick me up in his car. 

At this point, I wake up. 

What does this mean? 

It was all so real to me, and nothing in this dream seems to be connected with anything I've been seeing in real life. 

It prompted me to think that a suggestion from the outside was being made to me in my dreams last night.

Dear Father in heaven, thank you for the assurance when I woke up this morning, that I am yours and nothing can ever snatch me from Your hands. Thank you for your protection and the reminder that You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever! 

Major Insomnia

It's now past five am on a Sunday morning and I am still awake. 

Somehow, I keep thinking about this dream that I had years and years ago... A dream about a beautiful underwater world that I made up one night. I remember feeling really sad when I woke up from that dream, and now I wish I could reenter it.

Dream... reality... dream... reality...

I just want to sleep!!! 

Children Of The Light

After spending a week visiting up at school and hardly making time to read my Bible, I feel totally filthy and tired. Spiritually-speaking, that is. I snap so easily. Small things piss me off and everything just seems so stupid. Instead of running to God, I find myself running towards other distractions for comfort instead.

It got to the point where this morning, I was woken up by the most horrible, violating nightmare ever.

It's interesting... Even though I tried to stay away from "worldly things" these few days, just being around and talking to worldly people has just been so draining. My spiritual batteries feel as if they've been running on empty since last night.

I need some serious Jesus time. Need to just sit quietly with Him, soak up His presence again. There is still so much work that needs to be done. So much growing up to do. This week just showed me again how much further I have to go.

Help me finish this race Jesus!

Help me to remember who I am...

A Beautiful Dream

Last night, after reading Eileen's post about her dream, it made me rather distressed before going to sleep. So of course I prayed that God would protect me in my sleep. I ended up having a really beautiful dream about traveling on foot to some place that I'd dreamt about before- a gorgeous mountainous area with clear rivers and great open caves.

The only thing was that in this dream, I was worrying about what to pack for this day-long journey on foot. I was worrying about how to get to my resting site before it got too dark. I was worrying about getting enough food and supplies to last me throughout my stay (I was planning to camp out there)... I worried so much that I eventually got side-tracked in a city on the way...... Then I woke up.

Hmm. What a subtle parallel to real life!

Sometimes I wonder how such amazing landscapes that I've never seen with my own eyes before manage to surface in my dreams. After I wake up, I often find myself wishing that such a beautiful place did exist so that I could visit it someday...

Well I guess even if I'll never get to see those dreamscapes in real life, I still look forward to the new heaven and new earth that God has promised us- the one that we cannot even begin to fathom! It must be awesome beyond comprehension...

Dear God, show me Your ways which are higher than mine! Even one grain of Your wisdom is too wonderful for me to bear. Even a whisper from You sends my heart fluttering. One touch from You sends my spirit soaring. I thank You for Your unconditional love at all times of the day and through the watches of the night. Continue to speak to me as You have been God and help me to listen for You... In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Psalm 37:4

Because it's Monday, I spent the whole day cleaning with my little bro.

Luckily for us, dinner time didn't disappoint with beef, squash, mushroom and onion kebabs.

I was really exhausted by late afternoon though and promptly fell asleep on my bed for two hours. During those two hours, I vividly remember the dreams that I had. Although they were cut up into different sections (I woke up in between), they were all sort of connected to each other.

In my dreams I was traveling somewhere to live permanently but brought very little of my belongings with me. On my way to that next city/country, I somehow got separated from the old lady I was traveling with because chaos had broken out in the area. Nobody was safe and I felt hunted in every corner. Eventually, the whole dream turned into some hide-and-seek end of the world kind of nightmare. I found myself in a hospital hiding in the last dream, when the enemies broke into the building and began torturing people brutally. People were screaming and crying everywhere. In my heart, I somehow felt that if I were caught, the enemies would torture me if I didn't renounce my faith- and I was afraid that I would give up for fear of pain. Inevitably, I was cornered and caught; and this is really odd, but my captor began rubbing a small sore on my leg violently to hurt me because I would not give up the fight. Afterwards, I woke up.

For some reason, my dreams have been following such a scary theme for almost a year now.

And whenever these kind of apocalyptic dreams come up, I always get a sense of God being there with me; yet I don't seem to be able to cry out to Him. I used to be able to pray in my dreams but in these dreams I am always running away instead.

I'm not sure what all this is about but I really need to be more diligent about praying about my dreams before falling asleep. This dream probably happened because I was complacent before and did not ask for Jesus' presence and protection in my dreams/thoughts before sleeping.

On another note, I've been thinking about what I would like to do for the rest of my life if I had a completely free choice...... and honestly, I would love to be a missionary.

Whenever the church has a missions trip coming up, nobody knows, but I'm burning inside to go. Yet I never signed up for any missions trip because I never felt spiritually or financially adequate for the task. I also wasn't sure if going would be a part of God's plan. I guess I just didn't bother to ask.

But after working at VBS with the first graders and at Teen Bible Camp, I saw how rewarding serving fulltime actually is. In my mind, I compared it to all the other secular jobs I've ever had in my life and they all just fell short.

Take catering for example- it pays really well and I get to meet celebrities and interesting people each time, which is fun at first, but it does nothing. I don't feel like I've contributed anything to the world at all after each party. But Bible camps? I see how the Holy Spirit can move in the lives of each person. My time there is not wasted.

And not to mention, my love for other cultures and new situations certainly add fuel to the fire for going on mission trips.

I got a little sad thinking that God would probably never let me go on a mission trip. Or maybe just one and then it'll be back to regular life. Maybe I'll just witness to people at my everyday job. But oh how I wish that my everyday job were servicing the Lord! I can't explain this feeling...

Then I realised, that I've been on a mission trip for the past seven years.

I'm here in the U.S. aren't I?

Dude. Since God's promising me marriage in the future, I hope my husband is going to be some missionary guy. I cannot imagine living in the same country for more than a few years anymore.

Dear Lord Jesus, I will seek first Your kingdom above all else. I will not lust after all sorts of things that this world as to offer, but I will chase after Your goodness. I will seek You and find You in the quiet place. Then You will give me the desires of my heart and I will sing Your praises! I am so excited to see all the plans that You have for me. I know that You love me more than I love myself and so I am entrusting my future with You. Better is one day in Your house than thousands elsewhere!