Psalm 37:4

Because it's Monday, I spent the whole day cleaning with my little bro.

Luckily for us, dinner time didn't disappoint with beef, squash, mushroom and onion kebabs.

I was really exhausted by late afternoon though and promptly fell asleep on my bed for two hours. During those two hours, I vividly remember the dreams that I had. Although they were cut up into different sections (I woke up in between), they were all sort of connected to each other.

In my dreams I was traveling somewhere to live permanently but brought very little of my belongings with me. On my way to that next city/country, I somehow got separated from the old lady I was traveling with because chaos had broken out in the area. Nobody was safe and I felt hunted in every corner. Eventually, the whole dream turned into some hide-and-seek end of the world kind of nightmare. I found myself in a hospital hiding in the last dream, when the enemies broke into the building and began torturing people brutally. People were screaming and crying everywhere. In my heart, I somehow felt that if I were caught, the enemies would torture me if I didn't renounce my faith- and I was afraid that I would give up for fear of pain. Inevitably, I was cornered and caught; and this is really odd, but my captor began rubbing a small sore on my leg violently to hurt me because I would not give up the fight. Afterwards, I woke up.

For some reason, my dreams have been following such a scary theme for almost a year now.

And whenever these kind of apocalyptic dreams come up, I always get a sense of God being there with me; yet I don't seem to be able to cry out to Him. I used to be able to pray in my dreams but in these dreams I am always running away instead.

I'm not sure what all this is about but I really need to be more diligent about praying about my dreams before falling asleep. This dream probably happened because I was complacent before and did not ask for Jesus' presence and protection in my dreams/thoughts before sleeping.

On another note, I've been thinking about what I would like to do for the rest of my life if I had a completely free choice...... and honestly, I would love to be a missionary.

Whenever the church has a missions trip coming up, nobody knows, but I'm burning inside to go. Yet I never signed up for any missions trip because I never felt spiritually or financially adequate for the task. I also wasn't sure if going would be a part of God's plan. I guess I just didn't bother to ask.

But after working at VBS with the first graders and at Teen Bible Camp, I saw how rewarding serving fulltime actually is. In my mind, I compared it to all the other secular jobs I've ever had in my life and they all just fell short.

Take catering for example- it pays really well and I get to meet celebrities and interesting people each time, which is fun at first, but it does nothing. I don't feel like I've contributed anything to the world at all after each party. But Bible camps? I see how the Holy Spirit can move in the lives of each person. My time there is not wasted.

And not to mention, my love for other cultures and new situations certainly add fuel to the fire for going on mission trips.

I got a little sad thinking that God would probably never let me go on a mission trip. Or maybe just one and then it'll be back to regular life. Maybe I'll just witness to people at my everyday job. But oh how I wish that my everyday job were servicing the Lord! I can't explain this feeling...

Then I realised, that I've been on a mission trip for the past seven years.

I'm here in the U.S. aren't I?

Dude. Since God's promising me marriage in the future, I hope my husband is going to be some missionary guy. I cannot imagine living in the same country for more than a few years anymore.

Dear Lord Jesus, I will seek first Your kingdom above all else. I will not lust after all sorts of things that this world as to offer, but I will chase after Your goodness. I will seek You and find You in the quiet place. Then You will give me the desires of my heart and I will sing Your praises! I am so excited to see all the plans that You have for me. I know that You love me more than I love myself and so I am entrusting my future with You. Better is one day in Your house than thousands elsewhere!

Philly Teen Camp 2011

A week can seem like such a long or short time- depending on which perspective you look through. What just happened this week now seems like a dream.

A very incredibly awesome dream......

Since Monday, I've been at a teen camp for all the Nazarene churches in the Philly district. To be honest, I wasn't that thrilled in going because I didn't think that teens would really respond to or care about God.

I know that's really dumb of me to think that, but that's only because I never took church seriously while I was a teen so I thought that everyone else was like that.

I was there to be a counselor and I was really scared to have such a responsibility.

What if they didn't like me? What if they didn't want to listen to me talk about Jesus? What if I got impatient, angry and acted out at them?

I was so afraid that I would somehow be a bad example to them, so I prayed and asked that God would speak and move through me each day.

What happened next was incredible...

When God moves hearts, the following result is just amazing to watch. I watched teens with broken families, low self-esteem, heavy addictions, hearts filled with pain and fear, surrender their lives to God.

I watched eight boys and girls get baptised because they decided that they wanted to be done with their old lives. They decided to follow Christ to the end. They decided to deny themselves and pick up their crosses.

I had so much fun hanging out and doing all those fun activities with everybody.

That when it came time to leave, I found myself wishing that camp could go on for another week.

God had put such a fierce love in my heart for those kids that I seriously just could not bear to say goodbye.

Yes, I was tired, sore and completely out of my comfort zone, but I was also overwhelmed by the love that the presence of the Holy Spirit had brought.

There really isn't much else to say. God showed up big time at camp and I grew so much.

Praise Him! Jesus Christ- for what He has done for us on the cross!!!