Valentine's Day

Let's see... it's now... 2012? This will be the fourth year in a row since I last spent this day without a legit valentine. I know some of you reading this have NEVER had a valentine so you're probably rolling your eyes right now. But before they roll to the back of your head, please hear me out!

Four years ago, I never thought that I'd be able to survive without a boyfriend. 

Really. 

I know it sounds stupid, and it really is, but I gotta tell you how it was back then. 

Truth is, I was always searching for that someone to fill the lonely gaps in my heart. You know, not just a person to talk to after school and stuff, but a warm body next to mine, a reassuring presence on the couch while watching TV. I never thought I'd see the day when I was fine being on the couch alone. 

Then in 2008, God saved my life and opened my eyes to the stupidity I was wallowing in. 

I realised that I was searching for love in all the wrong places. Not only that, but the "love" I sought wasn't even close to what true love was about. I was chasing an ideal that we see in the movies. I thought that as long as a guy was "spontaneous, cute, caring and has a good sense of humour", he'd be the one for me. 

How immature and silly of me to think that way!

True contentment can never be found in another human being except Jesus Christ. Every man, every friend or relative will disappoint you in some way at least once in your lifetime, but God never will. He is always the same, always faithful, always righteous and just. 

So I haven't dated since 2009, but plenty of temptations have come my way. I know you're thinking that those temptations mean there are guys who are trying to date me. I don't mean to sound like there are literally mobs of guys after me. There are no mobs. But there are other temptations, such as temptations to give up my beliefs in purity before marriage. 

I've been challenged so many times by non-Christians and strong Christians alike during these years that I've resolved to not date (not fish for a partner). Sometimes those people make me wonder if I really am being too extreme. Yet time and again, I just couldn't shake the feeling and conviction that the world's pattern of dating doesn't keep the marriage bed pure. I just can't bring myself to date, let alone date a non-Christian!

I know this supposedly means that my chances of getting hitched are significantly reduced. 

That's good. 

That also probably means that my chances of getting emotionally scarred are also significantly reduced.

Call me scared and timid if you wish, but I value my heart enough to not put it through the stress and pain that it's been through before. Why would I throw it in the washing machine again for a few spin cycles just to see if it would come out unscathed? That would be pure stupidity! 

But in case you're wondering if I'm refraining from dating out of fear of getting hurt, let me assure you that is not the sole reason. The sole reason is honouring God. Realising that He has bought my body and soul with His own blood shed on the cross, willingly giving my life and my all to Him, because I trust Him. 

But I will tell you that this is a daily struggle for me. Keeping the marriage pure is so much more than simply not having sex before marriage or not fishing around for a partner. It's about keeping one's thoughts pure, about being honest with one's intentions at all times with the opposite sex, about honouring other people's future husbands and wives as well as yourself. It is so much harder than it sounds. So many times I fall, I feel like it's just impossible to live according to God's will, then I feel like giving up. 

Yet God keeps reminding me that although "with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26) and "that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6)

Dear Lord Jesus, you know the moments when I feel like giving up. I know You are watching me from your heavenly throne. I know Your heart breaks when You see me fall and wander away from Your Word. In my weakness, You are strong. In my desperation, You are my hope. God I pray that You will lift me up on wings like eagles even as I grow weary. Help me to be patient with people and with myself. Forgive me for being unfaithful to Your Word and help me to overcome evil with good. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12) Renew my mind and refresh my spirit with Your love, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen.