Struggle

I am struggling. God knows I am. 

Doing the right thing is always difficult, but you want to know what's REALLY difficult? Thinking the right thing too. 

I just got off the phone with Talia. Did our usual weekly praying for each other thing. 

I have been feeling weak all week (HAHHHH). 

But today takes the prize for "killing me softly". 

*cue sad song*

I feel ripped apart by my stupid emotions, my wild imagination and my silly brain. I'd like to think that at the age of four and twenty, I would have outgrown certain immature teenage tendencies. But I guess not. The struggle is back with a vengeance and my life is on the line. I see two paths before me and the urge to walk on the broad path to destruction is overwhelming.

But look at me now. 

I'm walking away... I never knew it was even humanly possible pour moi. But it is, through Christ!

Through Christ... 

What would I do with myself if I did not have Him in my life?

And with all that abstract mumbo-jumbo that I just garbled out up there, I shall finish with a quote by Jim Elliot: 

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."