Counting backwards from my EDD (expected due date), I'm currently exactly 30 weeks pregnant. That means I've only got 10 weeks or 2.5 months to go...
Grateful thoughts often cross my mind these days. I'm thankful for this remaining time when it's just the three of us- Jerry, Brendan and I. While I'm sure baby no. 2 will bring much joy to our lives, I will certainly look back fondly on this past 1.5 years that Brendan has had his mommy and daddy all to himself. In due time, our attention will have to be split between two babes.
Grateful thoughts often cross my mind these days. I'm thankful for this remaining time when it's just the three of us- Jerry, Brendan and I. While I'm sure baby no. 2 will bring much joy to our lives, I will certainly look back fondly on this past 1.5 years that Brendan has had his mommy and daddy all to himself. In due time, our attention will have to be split between two babes.
These days, I'm no longer able to give B all my energy. The constant backache, pelvic cramping and discomfort has pretty much left me all but partially bedridden. I used to be able to bring him downstairs to the playground, for a walk or to the pool every evening. Now, I usually stay put at home, which makes me sad because I know how much he enjoys being outdoors, just like his mommy. Jerry is having a hard time too because he now has to drive me everywhere or do things around the house after work. This usually means that he ends up sleeping very late at night and is tired when he gets up for work in the morning.
I feel guilty sometimes that I can't contribute more. I want to work more, but I can't even make it to the MRT station on my own, let alone the office. I want to get chores done, but my energy is limited to short bursts that later require an entire day of rest to make up for it. I want to spend more time playing with B and showing him the world, but even getting up from a chair is painful. But while I do feel like I could be doing more, Jerry often reminds me that I tend to overestimate my physical ability. I've been trying to listen to him and force myself to rest more these days instead of ignoring my symptoms.
For my first pregnancy, I took for granted how physically comfortable it was compared to this current one. I never understood how some pregnant women who didn't even have big tummies were acting like they were disabled. Sometimes I thought they were just exaggerating their condition for sympathy. I now understand that every pregnancy is so different for each woman. I don't even think my bump is that big right now, but my hobbling side-to-side gait would suggest otherwise. It's when I'm walking next to Jerry that I realize how slow I'm walking these days. I used to think that he was such a slow walker, but now I'm always pulling him back and asking him not to hurry ahead.
I also miss drinking wine because sleeping through the night is a luxury these days. I keep waking up due to either the baby kicking me hard, or getting too hot, or sharp pains from turning. Sometimes I forget about the pelvic pain mid-sleep and get up too quickly to go to the bathroom. The stabbing pain that ensues is the worst!
But for all the physical suffering that I'm going through, I'm truly grateful for the knowledge that this is only temporary. I can't imagine living with this sort of agony for the rest of my life like handicapped or really old people do. This has given me a whole new perspective on the kind of mental strength it takes for them to live their daily lives.
I feel guilty sometimes that I can't contribute more. I want to work more, but I can't even make it to the MRT station on my own, let alone the office. I want to get chores done, but my energy is limited to short bursts that later require an entire day of rest to make up for it. I want to spend more time playing with B and showing him the world, but even getting up from a chair is painful. But while I do feel like I could be doing more, Jerry often reminds me that I tend to overestimate my physical ability. I've been trying to listen to him and force myself to rest more these days instead of ignoring my symptoms.
For my first pregnancy, I took for granted how physically comfortable it was compared to this current one. I never understood how some pregnant women who didn't even have big tummies were acting like they were disabled. Sometimes I thought they were just exaggerating their condition for sympathy. I now understand that every pregnancy is so different for each woman. I don't even think my bump is that big right now, but my hobbling side-to-side gait would suggest otherwise. It's when I'm walking next to Jerry that I realize how slow I'm walking these days. I used to think that he was such a slow walker, but now I'm always pulling him back and asking him not to hurry ahead.
I also miss drinking wine because sleeping through the night is a luxury these days. I keep waking up due to either the baby kicking me hard, or getting too hot, or sharp pains from turning. Sometimes I forget about the pelvic pain mid-sleep and get up too quickly to go to the bathroom. The stabbing pain that ensues is the worst!
But for all the physical suffering that I'm going through, I'm truly grateful for the knowledge that this is only temporary. I can't imagine living with this sort of agony for the rest of my life like handicapped or really old people do. This has given me a whole new perspective on the kind of mental strength it takes for them to live their daily lives.
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