The U.S. vs Singapore

I've been feeling uncertain about the future recently. People keep asking if I'm going to stay in Singapore for good. I tell them "yes", and they always give me a look of surprise. 

They ask: "But why? Isn't the U.S, better?"

I would tell them "not really", then proceed to explain why. 

Usually, these are the reasons I give:

1) It's not really better per se, it's just different. 

2) Most of my family's in Singapore, but I have friends in the U.S. who I miss too

3) It's expensive in Singapore but generally more convenient (public transport wise)

4) Many things are cheaper in the U.S. but it can get boring

5) Singapore's also boring

6) The economic centre of the world has shifted to Asia

7) U.S. is better for simple living

You know the thing is, I could come up with a thousand reasons why Singapore is better than the U.S. and vice versa. That's why you just can't compare them head on like that. 

It's just that, after so much questioning regarding my decision to move back to Singapore, I'm starting to wonder if I made the right move after all? 

After all, there are PLENTY of Singaporeans who are just dying to get out of this country. 

I love my work here in Singapore though- I really do. I know that if I move back to the U.S., I would have to give that up. I'd miss the two years I spent skating all over this urban city. I'd miss the food and the friends I've made and gotten closer to as well. There'd be no more Chinese New Year visits or family potlucks. 

Still, being in the U.S. seems like a great idea too.

Talk about starting a family... And all that good stuff!

But the more I think about the future, the more I get worried and anxious. How can I know that I'll be making the right decisions? How can I maximise all the opportunities I have to create something long and lasting?

The truly worrying part is- I can't. I simply don't know and I cannot know. 

All I can be certain of in this life is my God in whom I trust. He is the only one who never changes. People come and go, nations rise and fall, but the Lord my Rock remains the same. His love and mercy is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Praise God for His unending love! Because of Him, I can live without fear of tomorrow!

Locked By Fear

Last Friday, I finally went for an urban again, after a three-month long hiatus. 

It was pretty fun. We skated from Bishan to Khatib along Lentor Avenue. 

Jerry surprised me by showing up halfway on his motorbike just to say hi. That was really sweet of him!

Saturday afternoon, we attended Bozhi and Theng Hoon's wedding held at the Church of God along Bedok Road. 

I was so touched by the look on Bozhi's face as he watched his bride walk in through the doors. Even though this is their third ceremony (they already had one in China and one in Malaysia), he still had that look of utter... Hmmm.... how should I describe the look on his face?

I guess this verse in Psalm 45:11 comes to mind: "The king is enthralled with your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord"

Then after the wedding ceremony was over, we dropped by East Coast Park for an impromptu walk by the beach. Just couldn't resist the beautiful sunny sky!

Here's a photo of us at the place where we first met and have spent so much time skating alongside each other.




I guess, even as time goes by, I am still feeling locked by fear. Fear of the future in so many ways. This fear is crippling me from working hard and from being the woman of faith I know God wants me to be. I spent all day in bed yesterday just thinking about all the possible ways I could fail in this upcoming week and it made me not even want to move.

Dear God, I know all these feelings of defeat are just lies. Please help me and save me from these lies. Help me to walk forward in faith and not in fear. I need your help, you are the only one who can keep me from harm! In Jesus' Name, Amen.