I am still struggling with my feelings. I can't shake them, but God has been faithful to keep me standing.
There were nights when I would be tempted with such thoughts:
"the best is already come, if you miss this opportunity, you will lose everything"
"it's okay, God doesn't mind"
"it's not even that serious, don't take it so seriously"
I would lie in my bed with tears flowing down my cheeks, because I half-believed those thoughts. I pitied myself and I felt sorry for how weak I was. I felt robbed of joy and peace. Nothing seemed to go right.
I knew that I had to give it up, but still my heart held on so tightly.
But God reminded me of His laws; His everlasting laws that guide our paths. It was God's Word and His laws that saved me from death all those years ago, and once more, it was His laws that would point me back to true north. I could not turn my back to that.
I started to think about the impact of my reckless thoughts and actions on others.
I realised that even though I thought I was being considerate the whole time, I was still falling short.
This battle is intense, but I am encouraged hourly by the Lord. He is faithful to me even as I feel faithless.
Let this post be a reminder to me in the future....
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is Thy faithfulness!" (Lamentations 3:22-23)
No comments:
Post a Comment