Everyday my life passes me by like a wave. Back and forth, on and on. Life has almost turned into a rhythm, a habit that is unbreakable like a link of chains that stretches into nothingness.
Inevitably we ask ourselves why? Why was I born? Why am I here and what should I do with this life?
Philosophers, theologians.... yabber yabber yabber. That's all they do. On and on about what life should be and why this, why that. Before you know it, they're dead and just another page in our history book and another question on that final exam.
It's overwhelming, the waves and waves of ideas that come with each generation. But onward we tread the paths of destiny, a whole generation of us moving towards an unknown. The known is uncertain and we can't even be certain of certainty. So why try?
Why should we fight wars, have boyfriends, drink kegs of beer, study Math, get a job... why should we be the best that we can be, if we can't even define what "best" means? Why should we do good for others if we don't even know what is good for ourselves? Who can answer these questions so definitely that we'll never ever have to ask another question anymore? Isn't everything in life meaningless then?
We gather riches but we can't enjoy them when we die.
We have as many children as we can but we can't enjoy their company when we die.
We try to get those As, try to get that perfect GPA, try to get that well-paying job, all for what?
So we can avoid pain during this life only to end up in the same place where some starving homeless drugged-up man is heading?
Pointless. Meaningless.
Some call if Faith, others call is self-delusion. So how will you have it? What will you do? You only get this one second, this one chance. There are no second tries, no reruns, U-turns or replay buttons. You run into a wall and you have to face it. You jump into the ocean and you have to swim in it.
Some say that the middle road is possible. But is it really? You can only do one thing at any single moment in time. The only way you can take a middle road is if you do two or more things at the same time. But can you? Do you even know what you're doing right now? Reading this? Are you really?
We all live by faith whether we are atheists or Christians or Buddhists. Because there is nothing we know for certain, why then do we go forward? Why do we keep living, keep pushing, keeping making choices? Because we have the capacity for faith? To believe in something enough to do it. Even when we don't feel our faith, it is there. Every action requires faith to do it. If you did not have faith in your existence, why would you bother looking into the mirror or saving yourself from the fire? You cannot prove your existence can you? Countless philosophers have tried and still they cannot prove anything. Nobody can prove Math's finality of truth either. Human logic is so weak that the best we can do is to acknowledge its weakness.
Why?
Is there even a point in asking why?
I live by faith and I've chosen mine. Call me delusional. Whatever.
Whew ok now that's done... On to daily life!
Tomorrow I will take my last final exam and finally get some time to um.. I don't know yet! I went for a job interview at some cafe place and methinks that I got the job. But that's just what I think... not that those thoughts are going to pay me or anything.
Yesterday we had our first real snowfall ever! But the weatherman cheated because early this morning, the bare 1 centimetre of it had melted away in the humid air and all I had left were foggy car windows. So much for white Christmases. Please. Give me a nice frosty blue sky this year and I'll be happy! Though I doubt that's going to happen. I don't think Santa will make it this year either since his homeland is literally falling into pieces as it is. Not that we're missing much anyway. All those toys that he's been putting under the trees recently are just plastic crap that make sounds when you press certain buttons. What did you say? I'm too big to get toys? Oh yeah! I got an Ipod last Christmas ok! Yeah! Plastic and makes sounds!
No no no I'm not complaining... I love my Ipod. Just... why can't Ipods save the world from global warming? And I'd love to type "lol" right now but it doesn't quite go with this post does it?
I know I used to say I loved that global warming was happening because that might mean warmer days; but to be honest, now that I've fallen in love with cold weather, it may not be such a pleasant thing after all. I guess you don't miss the snow until the uh... sky.... warms.. up?
Speaking of more consumer ways, the school trainer encouraged me to get a new pair of running shoes since I've gotten shin splints (if you don't know what this is, just know that it hurts like hell and it's not in a spot that you can massage effectively.... NO! NOT THAT SPOT EITHER! It's on your leg duh... from running... because you know, I run with my legs... Jeez I'm lame). I can't run. So.
I'm going SWIMMING tomorrow! Yay me! Chlorinated water, here I come!
My cat says hi. Though you know, I kind of just made that up, but it's the thought that counts right? Assuming cats can think...
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