Friday, December 03, 2010

RE: Decision

I decided to post my reply to Eileen's blog post here because it's kind of long and it's along the lines of what I wanted to post today anyway.. :)

Wow praise God for what He has done for you! Thanks for your post.. I saw that it was a longer one than usual so I went to get icecream to enjoy while reading haha.

Hmm, I don't think you're being selfish by applying verses to yourself. God is speaking directly to you using His Word, and while it may mean one thing to me, it will may mean another to you, especially if it is "rhema"- and it obviously is since God has put peace upon your heart concerning the message.

I've had the same struggle regarding track. Every semester (so that's 7 times already in the past 4 years), I will get this overwhelming desire to quit track and focus on either finding an internship or something else (after all, I went to college to STUDY right?). The biggest reason for this is that I'm an average runner in a highly competitive sport. As a "loser", not only do I have to work doubly hard, I also have to be content with coming in middle/close to last all the time. I asked myself why continue running if I will never get to taste victory?

Yah... anyway long story short, God led me to understand over the years that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28). I may not see why God put me on the track team now, but I must have faith and endure in the hope and believe that God is paving my way to something greater, something beyond my imagination. The reason that I can continue running is that I look back on my life and see how it has been magnificently engineered to the T by an Almighty God.

Back when I was sent away from my mother's house to live with a guardian, I was really angry and just hated the whole entire situation. In hindsight, if I never moved out, I would've never learnt a lot of things and... it's not the only "bad" event that happened in my life... why did I not continue playing basketball for Nanyang? Why did I move to the U.S.? Why did I have to go to this particular college? So many questions... but the answers have been slowly revealed to me over the years. I cannot isolate any of them because all of them are tied into each other. Simply put, all those things that seemed unreasonable, bad or painful at the time have all worked together for my own good and as I walk in His will, his purpose in my life becomes clearer (especially on hindsight).

And since Paul calls us to find joy in our sufferings, I've been trying to do that for the last two years or so. There came a point when suffering on the track or at the gym became really enjoyable to me, not just because I was starting to reap the benefits of becoming fitter and healthier, but also because I accepted that I wasn't doing this for "nothing". I was doing this for God's greater purpose in my life (which I have faith that He will reveal in His time).

As for the "If we disown Him, He will also disown us. If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself" verse, I totally agree with what you are saying about how God's salvation is so much bigger than us! I love that description... it's encouraging to know that we can't really mess ourselves up if we remain in Him. If I may add, if we disown Christ, we voluntarily separate ourselves from Him. 1 John 4:13 says that "we know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit". So Christ and us are like one inseparable entity because He lives in us- much like how a man and his wife will cleave and become one flesh, so shall Christ and his bride (the true church) cleave and become one spirit, one body. So if we leave God and tear ourselves away on our own, God will leave us. But if we are still believers of Jesus, the Holy Spirit still lives in our bodies and He will continue to bring every good work in you to completion because we are still one with Him. So in a way, sinning will separate us from God, but having weak faith will not eternally separate us from Him (though it's not encouraged obviously). Instead, God will increase our faith if we continue living in Him!

Yep.. And Amen to your prayer :)

1 comment:

hikari said...

:) but seriously, as trainings approach, dread increase and so does doubt and fear... haha... i really need lots of prayer and focus on God to follow through what i have decided >_<