Graduating

Ok so I wanted to go to bed about four hours ago but it just wasn't possible. I've got so much to do these past few days that I haven't checked my email or replied to any Facebook messages in so long. Time to do them all at once!

Anyway, I graduated from college this past Monday and it was a really sad event for me.

Even worse is the fact that I didn't even manage to meet up with some friends who came down to watch the ceremony because their bus back to school left too quickly. What a shame! I don't know when is the next time I'll get to even see them again...

In the meantime, I've been touring New York City with my dad. It's weird but I never get sick of being a tourist in NYC. Though the buildings never change much, the people on the street are constantly in motion. Nothing ever stays exactly the same.

The next few days promise to be full of activity and though I'm tired, I like having something to do. I know that once my dad leaves, I'll start feeling restless and unproductive.

Another uncertain summer, yet I know something amazing is about to happen. God has always made sure of that.

Peace out.

Goodbye Goodbye

Senior week went by so quickly, I can hardly believe it. I spent my last few days in school hanging out with as many friends as possible and saying my last goodbyes to people who I didn't know if I would ever see again...

It was a rather sad affair and I took lots of pictures but they're all still in my camera.

The good thing though, is that my dad flew here for my graduation ceremony and we had a really nice, relaxing weekend so far. I brought him to church with me this morning and it was just so wonderful to be able to worship together. What a blessing to have a god-fearing earthly father!

Tomorrow (I guess, today?) is finally the day that I'll be walking on stage to get my diploma in a big black gown and a black square hat. It all seems so surreal. Did four years really just end? Did they really ever begin? I look back and cannot believe how many new experiences I've gained and valuable lessons I've learned. Maybe the hefty college price tag wasn't so hefty after all.

Also, I'm not sure if this made international news headlines, but here in the U.S., a group of people has been putting up billboards and advertisements claiming that Jesus Christ was going to return and the world would end on 18:00, 21st May 2011.

As you can see, I'm still here typing away... So, no, the Rapture did not happen.

On the night of the 21st, a friend texted me asking if I got "Raptured" away yet. He thinks that just because I'm Christian, I believe in that nonsense. When I saw his text, I just thought to myself: "seriously? Is he seriously lumping me in with the rest of those crazy loonies?"

Apparently the grocery stores in his town were stocking up because there were actually people stocking up just in case disaster strikes and the world really ends.

The Bible very clearly says: "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father" (Mark 13:32). So how can an 89 year old man from Boulder, Colorado predict when Jesus Christ will return to judge the living and the dead? In fact, the entire chapter of Matthew 24 speaks pretty clearly about the fact that we will not know the exact time of God's return.

This newspaper article from the Philadelphia Inquirer is a really hilarious but sad illustration of how delusional this world is becoming.

But as Pastor Mark said in church today, the point is not calculation, but preparation.

Goodnight.

Clutter & Seeking Approval

Okay I would've blogged before but Blogger seemed to have some problems so I didn't.

Between then and now, some thoughts have flown away.

But it's okay, I've got new ones.

It's now two hours past midnight and I'd finally put away all the stuff that I brought home from the school dorms. You know, it amazes me how I managed to accumulate so many things again after throwing out so much last year. Clothes, books, shoes, miscellaneous clutter like papers and keychains... My shelves look overloaded and I don't like it.

While I feel like throwing a whole bunch of things out again, I have a feeling that empty-looking shelves will only serve as an enticement to hoard.

Maybe it's the effect of springtime.

Each spring, I feel like either cutting my hair or throwing things away. While I've successfully resisted the first urge, the second is still lurking in the back of my head.

Back in 2009, I still remember being in a total "simple living" state of mind. I really felt that I did not need to use soap on a daily basis, that I could do with wearing the same pair of jeans all year and not wear heels for the rest of my life. My closet was empty and spacious enough to sit in. Yet over the past two years, especially summer of 2010, I realised that this wasn't a realistic way for me to live if I were to be considerate of people around me, especially my family. So I started bathing more often. Then I started using conditioner again. I replaced a large chunk of my wardrobe that summer and wore heels again. All this because I didn't want my family members to be ashamed of me in public. I wanted them to be proud of who I was becoming, a young lady of 21- not some frazzled hippie cat lady with nothing much to say besides "everything is meaningless" and "Jesus loves you".

Okay, not really, but you get the picture.

But now I'm starting to think that perhaps I've bent over too much for others with regards to this.

Because inside, I really am a hippie cat lady with nothing much to say besides "everything is meaningless" and "Jesus loves you".

I feel like those two statements pretty much answer every question that's ever asked of me.

Like, "what do you want to eat today?"

Reply: "Doesn't matter. Everything is meaningless."

"Uh, okay but you need to eat something."

"Well, that's true. Jesus loves you."

See?

Or:

"What did you do today?"

"Whatever I did today was meaningless."

"Aww, come on, I'm sure you did something that contributed to the world today!"

"Maybe, which brings me to my next point- Jesus loves you."

Yeah!

And this is how I unmake friends......

Speaking of which, we had a great sermon in church today about being persecuted for Christ. It was, as usual, exactly the reminder I'd needed.

Being persecuted for Christ means that people in this world are going to look at you and make fun of you because of Christ. They are going to stop hanging out with you or start excluding you because you make them feel uncomfortable. They may call you a "goody-two-shoes", a "holier-than-thou" hypocrite, a "Jesus freak" and all those other culturally-negative names, but it shouldn't stop us from continuing our ministry.

This isn't a popularity game. It's not the one with the most friends who wins, but the one who lives for Christ despite the hardship who wins a place in the kingdom of God.

How good to hear this message today!

I was reminded once again that I need to stop focusing on gaining people's approval but rather to focus on gaining God's approval.

No matter what, God doesn't change and I shouldn't change as well even if those around me start changing in the way they treat me.

Gourmet Adventures & Missing Him

I've been really enjoying the perks of being an honours student at this school. While everyone else has to go to the noisy library to study, we've got the run of the honours house. I feel so accomplished just by sitting around all these smart people who are studying hard.

On an unrelated note, the azaleas are in full bloom on campus and my allergies are on overdrive.

On Tuesday, we went to Union City to have some Peruvian food.

Sol Chicken was the restaurant of choice.

This is sliced potatoes with some sort of egg paste on it. Soooo good! The sauce is really creamy in a non-dairy kind of way (sorry, I know that doesn't really make sense... haha) and complements the potatoes quite well.

This is an amazing mix of seafood with lemon juice sprinkled all over it. Tastes very refreshing. The sauce on the side actually reminded me of non-spicy "chin cha loh".

The main dish of fried plantains, rice, beef steak and eggs. My favourite were the fried plantains. Very nicely crisped and sweet!

Peruvian fried rice bears a striking resemblance to my mom's fried rice...............

And a Thank You mint to go!

Today, Danny treated me to Filippino food at Little Quiapo. I love this place! Lots of good times spent in that little restaurant. The food is amazing too. It's hard to find genuine-tasting food but this one cuts pretty close to the real thing.

Tapsilog- the usual. Rice, fried beef and eggs with vinegar on the side.

Yep. I've been spoiled these past two evenings.

In reality, I feel as if I've been spoiled more than these two evenings. I've been enjoying myself so much even between the pressures of track, school and graduation that I almost feel guilty for it. I feel like maybe I shouldn't be enjoying myself this much when I've got a lot of big things to think about you know?

But then when I'm in the moment, I just forget all my worries and can't help but thank God for all this wonderful frame of mind.

As I strolled home from studying in the cool midnight air, I began thinking about my tendency to drift further from God whenever life is going well. But whenever things aren't going well and I begin to panic, I run right back to God crying for help. Isn't that a shame? I should be close to God at all times shouldn't I?

I recalled the last time I felt really near to God- and it was indeed a time when I was going through some tough internal struggles. Compared to then, life right now is a beach and I just feel so........ nice.

Yet sometimes I can just feel my heart keep wandering away from Him. Even though I praise Him in my heart and pray at all times and stuff; but I miss leaning onto Jesus full-force, tear-stained and heart-broken.

Weird huh.

Not that I want trouble to fall upon me, but I just want to draw near to my best friend again.

I just want to get away from everyone and everything to sit quietly by a river. If only......

Sigh.

Every thought about Washington State sends the memory of fresh alpine air up my nostrils and I feel like crying.

Formal & College

Today was such a (for lack of a better word) crazy day.

I went to my last college classes ever, ate some really good pepperoni flatbread with Brazilian sauce and went to the school's junior/senior formal with trackies in the evening.

Getting ready for the formal was so hectic! Everybody really put in effort to look great tonight.

Fortunately when we got there, the food didn't disappoint. At least not in the beginning.

We were all starving and I was kind of mad at myself for wearing such a tight dress that I couldn't eat that much.

I find it amazing how God somehow dropped me in this college, landed me a place in the track team and found me all these wonderful friends. No one can ever put a price on the memories and experiences I've gotten over the past four years here. If I could do it all again, I really think I would.

Tonight at the formal as we were all dancing and I looked around, I realised that I'll probably never get to hang out with my teammies like this ever again. All of us are so young now and so sheltered. No kids, no responsibilities......

Time is flying and I don't want graduation to come but I know it is coming with the speed of an express train.

College was truly a mad experience. Mad fun that is. I look back and cannot believe all of the things I've learnt/did for the first time/gained from these four years- all thanks to a few twists of fate, a.k.a. God's guiding hands.

I am so glad that I am blogging about these things now so that if I ever doubt someday that God's plans are to prosper me and not to harm me, I can look back and remember how greatly He's blessed me these four years. The friends, memories, laughter...... All these things last a lifetime.

The Countdown Begins...

Since I haven't blogged since Wednesday, here's a fast recap in pictures of what I've been up to.

Thursday- I thought classes would never end.

Friday- Peacock Palooza. A really fun school event where bands come to play and we get free stuff like T-shirts, sunglasses and ice-cream!

Went last minute shopping for the upcoming formal that evening.

Saturday- My mom and brothers came to watch me run (for the first and last time) at our MAAC Outdoor Championships. It was the first day of the championships and I was running the 3,000m steeplechase.

In case you're wondering, I did horribly and was about 10 seconds away from my personal record of 12:09mins. Boo hoo hoo!

Went to Chillis that night for dinner with the girls.

Sunday (today)- Final day of our MAAC Outdoor championships. The girls' team won again (we won Indoor season back in February) with a total score of 250 points!

Also, I finally managed to break 20mins in the 5,000m run. I came in at 19:43mins, which is 29 seconds faster than my personal record at 20:11mins. I know I'm supposed to be really happy with that time, but honestly, I'm not. I wish I had broken 20mins earlier in the season because I've been running for FOUR years now and to not break it earlier is really sad.

But, okay okay.

I must be grateful!

WE ARE SO HAPPY!

And I'm a little bit shocked because I didn't expect the girls to win Outdoor and Indoor season! This is the first time the girls' team from our school has won the MAAC championships ever.

You know, God works in mysterious ways.

On Saturday before my race, I prayed to God that He would help me run a 11:30min 3k steeplechase. However I also prayed "if I win, I praise you. If I lose, I praise you. Either way, I will praise you".

Took that prayer from the movie Facing The Giants.

I was really disappointed when I didn't even come in close to breaking 12mins on Saturday and didn't even feel like racing the next day anymore.

But fast forward to Sunday and the most unexpectedly good things happened... Great awesome weather, lots of fun with my teammates, a new PR and two championship titles as a team!

:)

Thank you thank you thank you God!

Even though I keep questioning and failing you, you never failed me. Forgive me for always underestimating You!

And, on that note, I am so NOT ready to graduate!

Tomorrow is the junior/senior formal and even though I can't wait for it to get here, I know it will be over in a heartbeat. School will be over in a heartbeat.

Boooo!

Law Paper Fail

Did I finish my paper this morning? Is that even a legitimate question?

Obviously the answer is no, I didn't finish it.

It simply wasn't possible. By the time 13:00 rolled around, I only had eight pages under my sleeve. Honestly, by that time, I was just so sick of writing that I didn't really care anymore.

What a lousy attitude right?

I really should pray about it. As I speak, I'm still not done with my paper. Even though it's past the deadline, I still want to finish it and hand it in to my professor. I'm not really hoping she will understand because there are just no excuses for this kind of procrastination. I am just going to do what I can now to salvage what I've got.

This evening I went with some peeps to NYC to shop for formal dresses since we're all going tot the senior/junior formal this coming Monday. The formal kind of like prom for our college, just less "high-schooley" if you know what I mean.

I know what you're thinking...

What am I doing in the city when I've got homework to do?

Well, today was the only day we could all go together and like I said, I'm just really sick of writing and doing homework now. As a result, I've been eating junk food all day and I feel horrible now.

Empire State Building.

So many ugly dresses... All overpriced!

Finished the night with the one and only- Pinkberry! I will miss this sorely when I'm gone (if I'm leaving).

While I want to be done with my papers and finals as soon as possible, I also don't want school to end so quickly. I feel as if time is flying by so quickly!

Serious Senioritis

I just got home from working at MoMA (Museum of Modern Art) in New York City an hour ago and I'm trying to finish my law paper that's due tomorrow. To no avail of course... At least work didn't go past midnight today as it usually does. Unfortunately, at this rate, I"ll have to churn out 3 pages per hour for at least 5 hours straight in order to get this paper done.

Right now I'm about to take a gamble: instead of finishing this paper before going to sleep at 05:00, I think I will sleep now, set my alarm for 05:00 and write from then till my paper is due at 13:00. That leaves me with 4 hours before my first class at 09:00, 1 hour between 10:00 and 11:00, another hour during lunchtime and then nada.

That's a total of 6 hours of nonstop writing.

I don't know if this is possible... Especially since I'm not a morning person.

I've never procrastinated to this extent before.

Midnight Thoughts About Discipline

I guess no matter how much I do not want to procrastinate, I will always still end up having to rush last minute papers; and it's always the longest papers that are the ones I leave the least time to write.

Currently I'm on page two of twenty pages and even though I have a rough idea of what I want to write, the words just won't come. I'm sure this is a familiar story for many of you who are still in school... Why is that?

Why is it that our particular generation has so much difficulty with discipline? Is it because our parents didn't instill it in us, or because of something else? Changing hormones? More people affected with ADD, ODD and (as Jay put it this past Sunday), ABC and LMNOP? Perhaps it is the way the school systems are structured- more flexibility and breathing space... Or simply the introduction of so many distracting technologies into our lives.

But at the end of the day, age old principles still stand. Discipline will never "go out of fashion" because it will always be an essential ingredient in the recipe for success. Discipline and self-control both are increasingly rare virtues these days- which makes me wonder what human society will look like in the following decades. Odds are, not very much better than now. In terms of material wealth or life expectancy and all other U.N. standard of living statistics, things may improve dramatically. However I feel that people will probably feel less spiritually fulfilled then, always searching for something to fill the emptiness inside... They may feel "happier", but never know the true meaning of joy. They may laugh or smile more but only because they've gotten better at suppressing the tears inside.

I don't know.

All I know is that the Bible predicts the time before Jesus' return to be one of tremendous failings in human character.

"People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy" (Timothy 3:2)

"They are godless men, who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord" (Jude 1:4)

This kind of makes me not want to have children...

Princeton

I went to Princeton University today to meet Shafiq and to check out what the Princeton fest was all about.

He showed me around the beautiful school grounds and shared many interesting stories about campus life.

I recognised this building from the movie A Beautiful Mind where John Nash starts freaking out! Thought it was pretty cool... All the buildings at Princeton are really beautiful to begin with.

And of course it helped that every other tree was covered in spring blossoms!

Went to Cheesecake Factory later with Maggie where she treated me to a lip-smacking dinner of Jamaican black pepper shrimp.

Thank you so much Maggie!!!

On the long drive back home, I started thinking about this whole day and generally noticed a theme...

With Shafiq, we talked a lot about the importance and value of going to an internationally-recognised school. Since I do not attend one, I seem to be having a harder time getting employers to even consider me for an interview.

With Maggie, our conversation centered a lot of what I was going to do after graduation; whether pursuing further studies would be a good idea. I mentioned that I was thinking about a PhD in English Literature or law school.

So... After today, I suddenly feel more inclined to further my studies post-graduation.

But at the same time, I don't want my parents to have to work so hard. I want to contribute too! Which means I should start working...

Right???

............