Kinda Lazy Saturday

Rereading yesterday's post made me aware of how much complaining I've been sinking into. I see that complaining is only a surface of a deeper habit; and it's not a nice one.

Perhaps I'm trying to blame the coach and the team and the weather for my inadequate performances.

Perhaps it's me being afraid of failure, not wanting to admit that it is a necessary step towards success. I often forget that in order to reach a higher point, I must dedicate myself to hard work. I must be prepared to accept unwelcome situations and not shift responsibilities- indicating that they are situations outside my control. That's my bad habit. Always pushing responsibility away, always trying to blame someone or something else.

To be fair, I will say that everything is actually in the Lord's control, not mine. But God also granted man responsibility for his actions. He gave man authority over the living creatures of the earth.

In that vein of thought, I know God expects me to act, think and speak as if I were accountable. I can only pray that He gives me the strength and wisdom to carry out His will... As you can see, I'm quite capable of slipping into unsatisfactory behaviour.

Sigh.

Well, that aside, today turned out to be rather unproductive and relaxing.

Got to spend a little bit of quality time with Koshka before heading out to discover a new running trail (more about that next time) and a new running store. Well the store isn't new but I just discovered its existence so it's new to me.

Mummy cooked an awesome dinner on the barbecue grill outside.

Steak with homemade mushroom gravy, asparagus and tomatoes. I think the only seasonings used in everything was pepper and salt.

It was super delicious!

Tomorrow is mummy's birthday, so I snuck out to the mall after dinner to get her a present.

I know it sounds last minute, but I've already thought about what I wanted to get her. There really isn't anything she needs or wants so I had to think really hard! Anyway, I left the gift outside her bedroom door for her to stumble upon when she wakes up in the morning.

You know, another reason why I may be nitpicking on my cross country team right now is because I'm watching Dear Boys.

What has that got to do with anything? You may ask. Dear Boys is about a Japanese boys basketball team... which is a far cry from cross country.

It's just that, watching Dear Boys makes me recall all the times I've ever played basketball in the past. I miss being on a team, having an important role to play, depending on others and being depended upon. The community that is built may become stifling sometimes, but more often than not it is uplifting and rewarding.

It makes me wish that our team were more cohesive like that.

It also makes me want to play basketball again. I haven't touched my ball for a really long time. It's probably covered in five layers of dust now (one layer for each year). My shoes are not in their shoebox but I barely touch them as it is. The only time I would touch them is to move them out of the way to get my other shoes.

I'd like to shoot hoops but I don't know anyone who'd like to shoot with me...

Well we'll see.

I'm looking forward to church tomorrow.

:)