Dressing Up & Past Regrets

Happily, sadly, embarrassingly, admittably, today was the first time I'd ever dressed well for church in the U.S.. In Singapore, even though you'd catch me wearing jeans on Sundays, it was generally accepted as "dressing up" in the youth ministry which I attended; as long as you wore a nice top and looked put together, it was alright. But here in the U.S., the men wear suits and the women look like they're attending weddings.

This morning, I finally felt that I couldn't keep going to church in jeans and a nice top with a random jacket to cover it all anymore. Although I didn't go all out and wear dress pants and heels like most of the other ladies did, I did forego jeans (my daily school uniform) and wore a dress with tights instead.

A dress! Finally!

At least it was warm enough today for me to wear the outfit comfortably. I miss dressing up terribly. It's not like I go out enough these days to do that anymore. Besides, dressing up for school is lame. I may make the effort look presentable, but I won't go the extra mile to make some fashion statement in class. What's the point? It's not like my professors are going to give me an A because I looked like something straight from the runways anyway.

But this Tuesday, I'll get a reason to dress up when I start work at this new job that I recently snagged. I'm excited!

My food is starting to look colourful again.

Wonder what the new and improved Bayonne ShopRite will look like when it reopens this winter. Apparently they shut it down so that they can renovate the whole thing to make the grocery store bigger, better and more efficient. I'm really excited because on top of the nicer shopping space, I'll get to enjoy ShopRite's lower prices once again.

Woohoo!

Right now I shop at another grocery store in Bayonne where things aren't as cheap as they were in ShopRite. It's just a slight increase in prices but every little thing adds up.

Oh well. Can't have everything in life now can we?

I am gearing up mentally for the full week ahead. Everyday has got its own problems. But the joy of the Lord is my strength.

A few days ago I was flipping through the archives of this blog and was utterly appalled at some of the things I'd said and thought. I really couldn't believe my eyes! I thought to myself as I read, "wow! How retarded can you get Mindy? Seriously? Hypocrite much?" I picked up immediately on an attitude that I wished I corrected back then. Arrogance, defiance, impudence, ungraciousness... All sorts of unpleasant things that my words conveyed- whether subtlely or not.

Honestly, I was utterly embarrassed and was very tempted to delete this blog or at least some of its content. In fact, I was right at the very verge of doing so.

But then I remembered that all through my life, I've always been throwing pieces of myself away. Completed diaries, artworks, memories, collections, etc.. They're all gone into some landfill now (until they resurface someday, unaltered and un-decomposed, God forbid!) but somehow I can't help but think that if I still had them, I'd learn some lessons a lot faster today if I were able to look at my past mistakes.

I realised that deleting this blog would be like deleting a memory of an unpolished me (which would obviously be nice). But in reality, I would never be able to actually erase who I've been. Who I am today is what I've built on top of yesterday.

Yes. Some future employers or boyfriends or whoever is going to flip through my archives and shake their heads in disapproval.

Which is just as well.

I did too. And I'd like to keep on shaking my head in disapproval of yesterday so that I can continue living the way I know I should in the future.

God bless you all!

And good night.